My last assignment in my 7th-11th writing class is entitled “My Truth.” I told the kids that this assignment would not go through the usual peer editing because of the things shared, and I told them that, while I will read it, this exercise was predominantly for their benefit. I asked them to explore how they are doing mentally, physically, and spiritually. These assessments would form the pillars of their own personal “truth.”
Last week I met with each of my high schoolers regarding what they wrote. It was a fantastic chance to belay some fears, assure kids that I love and have their best interests in mind, and help kids see that their struggles are often common to many.
I was reminded through this exercise how much students need adults off which to bounce their ideas. When they don’t have that, they are allowing friends and the Internet to form their opinions. And more often than not, they feel alone… not part of a community of shared thoughts.
The number of high schoolers who do not speak to their parents in the evening has grown since the pandemic. We learned to go to our alone place within the house, and that has not changed. Parents, here is the truth: if you don’t re-engage, there’s a pretty good chance you will not see the “you” in any part of your child’s adult life. Why is that important? Because parents pass on morals and good decision-making practices. The Internet cannot do that.
Now, it’s usual for your teen to be worn out at the end of day and sleep a bit. It’s normal for there to be friction between you and your teen as they prepare to leave the nest. You cannot force family time. What you must do instead is make opportunities for sharing. Go on a hike or to an ice cream shop. Just the two of you. Don’t prod; just listen for opportunities to reflect. Don’t judge or punish or warn. Just let your teen try ideas out. Play “would you rather” and open the door to ideas.
If you will take time with your teen, his “truth” will reflect some of what you have taught him.
- Michelle