What is this planning of which you speak? All joking aside, gifted and talented by nature do not do much planning. We are procrastinators. Why? Because four times out of five we can pull it off! The people around us don’t even know we’re winging it. But, oh, that one time we fail because we didn’t plan ahead… it’s a fiasco. And we have a horrible time admitting that the failure is ours. It’s got to be due to someone else’s error. Yep, they trusted us to come through! That was their error. Who knew we had gotten to #5 already?
Planning is definitely a learned skill. My teachers use Canvas by Instructure to put assignments and test dates on a calendar the students can access. We put the dates there, but we cannot make the students check them. It’s great to be able to show, though, that the information was always there; the student just had to access it. Gone are the days when students can use excuses like I was out of the room when you announced the assignment, or My dog ate the sheet with the instructions. Dogs don’t usually eat computers, and with today’s accounts, the student can always just look on his phone or borrow his mom’s computer.
As an adult, I cannot imagine paying my bills without a budget or trying to organize a vacation at the last minute. I got that way because there was a time when I didn’t budget, and I ran out of money with a lot of month left. And there was a time I tried to schedule a vacation that was booked up a solid year in advance.
To get our kids to begin planning, they are going to have to see a need. If we are in the wings, saving them every time they don’t plan ahead, will they ever see a need? They don’t have to remember to bring everything to school if you will drop what you are doing and bring it to them. They don’t have to worry about not studying for tests if you join them in thinking the teacher just doesn’t like them. And they don’t ever have to launch if you’ll just let them live with you rent-free. There it is! The one we DON’T want to happen.
So how do we teach our kids to be planners? Well, the first step might be to involve them in the planning. I know several parents who let the kids plan the summer vacation. They have to research the costs of hotels and gas to get there, what the itinerary will look like once there, and how much the family will need to save up to make this trip. I have even seen parents make a competition of it, choosing the recommendation of the child who best prepared.
Another way to teach planning is to have your child put his own dates on the family calendar. This makes him responsible for getting you to take him to activities he wants to do, as opposed to you asking him to “c’mon” for the fortieth time while he continues to play his video games. If he doesn’t look at the calendar and be proactive, he misses the event. There’s no one to blame but himself. (Now, of course, I’d say about fourth or fifth grade is the youngest I ‘d start this.)
Even planning meals can help your child become a better planner. The more positive experiences your child has with planned events, the more likely he will be to continue planning. I challenge you to examine how often you actually involve your children in planning. Then sit down and make your own plan to involve him more!
- Michelle