Have you ever thought about how many people actually consider themselves “the exception to the rule”?  So many, I’m afraid, that the “exception” is becoming the “standard.”  Now, if that “exception” is phenomenal, I’m all in!  But too often today, I am hearing parents say that I should make exceptions for their children because the kids will not be able to comply.  Hmmmm…

    Here’s the sad truth for those parents:  Fine.  Just do not expect Junior to stay at our school long. 

    It seems that the days of “whatever it takes” are gone.  Admittingly, some of that is for the good.  There were some very unhealthy and unkind practices that resided under the “whatever it takes” motto.  Increasingly, though, I have parents telling me that I should excuse bad behavior because of past experiences in the child’s life or poor study habits because the child is “just involved in so much.”  Again, I say, “That’s fine.  Just don’t expect your child to get to stay long at this school.”  In my head, I’m asking if the child has been through something worse than the slavery Frederick Douglas endured or the sexual abuse afforded Maya Angelou.  I’m wondering if that child, like three quarters of the world, is in a constant state of hunger and malnutrition because of poor economic status.  The obvious answer is “no” because I teach at a private school.

     There is a growing trend of not holding kids to standards academically.  I know it seems just the opposite, but if you really examine state exams, the standard is pretty low.  What standard, then, should we use?  How about the standard that allows a child to enter college with competence, complete the course work with confidence, and compete in the job market with success?  I’m here to tell you that the more “exceptions” your child needs, the less chance he has of doing that.

     With the onset of tablet-learning by preschool children all over the world, it would seem that the kids are just getting smarter and smarter.  True:  more kids are coming to kindergarten with the ABC’s learned.  Parents eager to advance their children plead with my mother and me to let their children move up because they already know their ABC’s.  That’s when we take out a pencil and ask the kids to write the letters.  We never get to the writing, though, because the child has the pencil gripped in a fist and is struggling to make each mark. 

    It is not enough to be smart.  One has to be skilled as well.  One has to take the time to go through the developmental stages.  Parents who assume their child is an exception to this rule always run the risk of severely hindering their children, just by allowing them to skip vital skill developments.

    Given that excuses are the new standard, I guess I want my students all to be “exceptions.”  I want them to exceed expectations… to make people say, “I didn’t know a kid could do that!”  I want all of my students to experience the satisfaction of acknowledgement of a job well done. 

-          Michelle