Winning is an ever-present thought in the minds of people, whether it is in sports, investments, gaming, or social relationships.  When my husband and I spent our free time sailing, he often asked me, “What does it take to make a sailboat race?”  His answer was always, “Two boats on the same tack!”  Yes, and we often ended up in a race with complete strangers…except that both skippers realized they were on the same tack!

            I am a known workaholic, so I can’t even imagine someone without a drive to succeed in life.  But, I don’t always seek to “win.”  Students argue in line after recess concerning a score in a playground game, and I always ask, “So what did you win?  Show me the money or trophy!”  They shrug their shoulders and show me empty hands.  Then I ask them what the argument is about.  The game is over, there is no reward over which to fight…so why quibble?!

            Perhaps it is because God made man to have dominion over the earth.  To have dominion must surely mean “to win.”  I just know it is a strong drive, especially within my male students.  Maybe it’s part of the natural competition of animals to be the head of the herd or pack.

            Instead of enjoying the process of competition, stress is built up to the point of frustration when a person doesn’t win.  The defeated person becomes depressed and relives the agony over and over in his/her mind.  I can identify with that.  My first basketball team I coached lost in overtime when a half-court shot made by an opponent ended our chance for the city championship.  I still relive my decision to go man to man on that play…and the outcome is always the same.  My team lost!

            I think our emphasis on winning is to blame for a lot of the negativity in our world today.  If we would just concentrate on and emphasize the “what” we are trying to win, and substitute intangible things for the trophies, medals, etc., we might find a more positive world in which to live.  People might then concern themselves with new friendships won, new goals attained, and new memories made which can flood our thoughts in times of depression. 

            In the end, I’ve seen many trophies thrown away, recycled, or just forgotten, but that is usually not the outcome for friends won, goals reached, and memories relived during those quiet moments of meditation and reflection.                              

                                                                                          - Kay