For over thirty years, the name Kay Johnson was synonymous with Flower Mound Elementary School. You could not mention one without evoking thoughts of the other. Under her leadership, Flower Mound became a model school for Oklahoma. She retired there 23 years ago; yet, Flower Mound still reaps the benefits of her reputation. That fact taught me that established reputations take a long time to be forgotten.
It’s March, and our school, Lawton Academy, has 190 kids already contracted to come to school next year. That’s only 14 kids less than we have enrolled now. We have established the reputation. Now our job is to continue to live up to that reputation.
Parents of gifted, let me make you aware: your kids are usually oblivious to their reputations. I know very few who do not believe that they are the answer to any issue that may arise. I am constantly amazed at the blank stares of “who me?” when I point out a trend of negative behavior in a gifted child.
It is very important that you not sugarcoat the ugly tendencies of your child. You don’t have to vilify them either. Instead, you should use any opportunity you can to show them the behavior elsewhere and discuss how ugly it is. Then you can carefully point out times your child has done the same. Or you can use the “how would you feel if” procedure. However you choose to do it, do not let the behaviors just slip by. In doing so, you are creating the next toxic boss… the next monster of a person.
It is important that we help our gifted children to understand the reputation they are creating. We get it: they’re smart. They’re not the only ones smart, though. And smart is not enough to get people to follow one’s lead. People follow leaders who listen. Parents, teach your kids to listen… to think… to empathize. They should be able to predict what damage could occur to their reputations or make moves that build a great reputation.
It’s never comfortable pointing out a fallacy, and gifted children are especially repulsed by any suggestion that their ways are not THE way. I have found them very open to new ideas, though, whenever we’re talking hypothetically. As the parent of a gifted teen, you’ve just got to be creative with your approach. You can do it! Gifted kids come from gifted parents!
-Michelle