If you do what you need to do now, you can do what you want to do later.
This is a shortened version of a quote from the very man whose book our school is studying this year: Zig Zigler. I have it up all around my school. There is no shortcut to success. Put in the hard work now, take the courses you need to take, be involved in leadership, volunteer in the community, and be active in extra-curriculars. The students who have done this have gotten really good scholarships to some of the best schools in the nation. It’s common sense: the more work-like experiences in which you are involved, the more you become a good worker. And that’s what America wants, right? Good workers. Do we want our doctor to be good? Our child’s teacher? Our leadership? Of course, we do! Then why do so many see the training to become good workers as “kowtowing” to the government or some other powerful entity?
Well, if you’re the teen, then it’s almost a rite of passage to believe that becoming a good worker is all an evil plan by the “powers that be.” Why else would someone want you to give up some of the comforts of being a child? Yet, if we look back on our country’s history, we do not find kids enjoying “the comforts of being a kid” well into their teen years. How did kids come to the notion that they should be able to go home after school and pursue only their own interests for the rest of the evening and all weekend till the day they graduate college? That’s where we come in, Parents!
More and more, I see some parents not actively raising their kids. They’re not reading to/with them, teaching them to tie their shoes and ride bikes, or helping them learn how to run a household through help with the chores. For some, it’s bitterness about their own lack of down time or the desire to give their kids a “better childhood than they had.” Others simply don’t like the teen they created. It’s easier to just keep the kid busy on video games than to have to listen to him whine about chores and family time all evening.
Our school is designed to train our area’s smartest kids to be future leaders. I almost never have a girl whose parents don’t come alongside our program and encourage her to succeed. In fact, the only cases where a girl has actually been excused by the parent for lackluster effort have been cases involving divorce and a perceived “bad father.” I attribute the cooperation of the rest of the girls’ families to this: their mothers know the hard road ahead for them and don’t coddle them.
Boys are a different story. We have had some great young men come through our program. We have had a good number, though, who do not make it to the end of our program because of mothers who have pulled them out at the least sight of discomfort. Many of their dads want them stronger, but moms tend to make the education decisions.
Because of this phenomenon, I am seeing a trend toward superstar girls (girls who are smart, athletic, involved in leadership, and volunteering at every opportunity), and I am increasingly seeing boys who do not feel like they “measure up” to the girls’ standards. This situation causes depression in the boys, which, in turn, causes moms to pull the boys and put them somewhere where the girls are not quite so threatening.
The problem with this trend I’m seeing is that it is based on some really old-fashioned ideas. There is no reason girls and boys can’t both be strong. In fact, I have some very strong boys who are not at all threatened by our strong girls but, instead, see the situation as iron sharpening iron.
So, here is my suggestion, Parents, for making sure your daughters and sons put in what they need to to get out what they want later in life. Encourage them to take the harder classes. Help them set up study time, but also plan some “get away” time for relaxation. If you encourage your child to do what is necessary now, the options they want will be available to them when it comes time for college and a job.
- Michelle