Who’s to say what is and is not appropriate? This is another topic that is incredibly subjective. What may seem completely appropriate and acceptable to one party might be viewed as inappropriate or offensive to another party, based on a complicated algorithm of culture, background, religion, political views, and core values. Although some matters of appropriateness can be dismissed as differences in opinion, this is not always the case, and it is important for young people to learn to distinguish appropriate behavior, dress, language, and attitude for certain situations.
This week in my business communications and writing course, we discussed business ethics. That is another area in which there are no concrete answers to each scenario, and a lot of gray area exists surrounding outcomes of each situation. We discussed as a class a few common ethics scenarios, and then I gave them a packet to work through in groups. This activity prompted a lot of conflict amongst the groups because a major contributing factor to these scenarios was personal opinion.
When given the scenario of an hourly receptionist that has finished her work for the day and spends the last two hours of her shift playing computer games, the students have strong opinions on both sides of the argument. Some believed that because she is paid by the hour rather than salaried, she should not be using work time for personal projects and that she should ask for more work. Others argued that if she finished her work, she should be able to do something else rather than just sit and stare at her computer.
My class quickly realized that it is hard to make concrete decisions on matters such as these because often there is not a rule or law that is being outright broken, but a case can be made that the behavior is inappropriate. So how do you address concepts such as appropriateness that are dependent upon each person’s beliefs, and have so much gray area? Well, in the case of business ethics, we looked at three major criteria for determining if a situation was unethical:
Is the action illegal?
Does the action violate company or professional standards?
Who is affected, and how, by the action?
I think it is important for us to develop similar criteria when thinking through the appropriateness of a situation or action. Working with teenagers, one situation in which appropriateness is often in question is the way in which they dress. Using dress code as an example, if each student were to go through a series of questions about his outfit before he leaves the house each morning, I believe he would be more likely to catch inappropriate dress before a teacher does. These questions might include:
With whom will I interact?
Is this a social setting or business setting?
Are there reasons why my outfit could offend someone with whom I will come in contact?
What does this outfit say about me as a person?
Taking this time to be present in his own decision making and looking at the situation from another person’s perspective can help him catch a dress code violation before leaving the house.
When trying to figure what is an is not appropriate, take yourself through a couple of questions. The act of stopping and thinking about how other people will react to your action can help avoid inappropriateness. You have to develop the questions for yourself, but with practice eventually this practice will become second nature and you will not have to stop and process the questions about each potentially inappropriate decision.
- Bria