Setting limits…This is probably one of the hardest things for a person to accomplish, whether for him/ herself, for the children, or for life in general. Because it is so difficult, self-help books are for sale by the millions. Yet, it remains a constant nagging problem in our society. In fact, I just turned off the news this morning after hearing of a three-year-old child killed by a drunken driver who was running down people celebrating at Mardi Gras. The driver certainly had not set limits for drinking.
Just this past week, I watched an anguished couple grieving over the death of their two-year-old child who ran out of the house and into the path of a car. The couple wanted to tell others to keep a close watch on their children to avoid such a tragedy in their lives. It struck home with me because as a child, I was a sleep-walker. My mother feared I would leave the house in the night. How did she prevent that? She locked the door high enough so I couldn’t reach it. Problem solved.
I am not surprised that children run into traffic, start up and drive cars, fire guns, and often wind up in the news. Many people today are so busy with their own lives (I won’t go into my usual rant about parents holding and watching their cell phones rather than their children) that they fail to take preventative steps to protect their children. These steps could be as easily done as making the child hold their hand.
More and more children today are “kids without limits.” It becomes harder to teach academics in schools when so much more time is necessary to teach students how to limit their inhibitions. Do I have a magic pill or formula for fixing this problem? No. However, I have learned that this “affective” side of education is extremely important. I try to include in my daily lesson plans some activities which afford time to practice “working within limits.” I also make sure I don’t give in to emotional manipulation by students. When students say, “But we were better than before, so can we have the reward, too?” I hold my ground. If I want a poor behavior eliminated, I must be consistent and hold to the standard. Yes, some parents do thank me for the changes they have seen in their child’s behavior. So, I just continue helping students recognize and work within limits…winning one child at a time.
As for me, I continue to work on setting limits for my use of time. I used to be able to multitask quite well. Now, nature itself is teaching me to set limits. It’s called “old age!”
- Kay