This week we are talking about a really important topic: Reputation counts. When I discussed this topic with the elementary students, the main thing that we kept coming back to is the idea that a reputation, whether good or bad, will follow you. This is the really significant thing about reputations: it takes time to build a reputation, and it takes time to change a reputation once it is established. Some of the kids thought of this idea of reputation following you as ominous or scary. While I don’t want them to be anxious, I’m glad in a way that they understand that a bad reputation can follow you.
I want all of our kids to establish a good reputation because ultimately I believe that does a lot to help them access great opportunities in their futures. To illustrate the point of reputations, I asked the kids to circle up by grades. Then I said things like, “Point to someone in your grade who is a great artist,” or, “Point to someone who is a hard worker.” Inevitably what I knew would happen, and what did happen, is that certain people would immediately disagree with their classmates’ judgements and try to convince them that they themselves are actually the fastest in the class.
This brought us to an important lesson about reputation. Your reputation is not based on what you tell people to think about you. It is what other people observe or hear from other individuals about you. This was a hard concept for some of the kids to wrap their heads around - especially our little ones. They believed that since it was true in their heads that they were the funniest person in their class, everyone else obviously believed that, too. In practice, that was simply not the case. There were some hurt feelings, but ultimately we were able to discuss that opinion is a significant contributing factor to what other people believe about you. We talked about how even if someone doesn’t believe that you are the best artist in the class, you can still be a good artist. Someone’s opinion of you doesn’t ultimately mean that that is the truth about you. Furthermore, if it is important to you that they believe that you are a good artist, you still have opportunities to convince them of such.
The biggest thing that I wanted the students to take away from this discussion is that a bad reputation is not a death sentence to your friendships and opportunities. Rather, it is a hurdle to overcome. If a child is in a position in which he currently has a bad reputation, there is still time to change that reputation. He just has to work at it. For other children who enjoy a good reputation, we talked about how important it is to maintain it. Fortunately, once a good reputation is established, people are usually granted a few mistakes because their reputation says that that behavior was out of character for them.
That is the sweet spot in which you want to find yourself. As students go throughout school, if they have a good reputation, people will generally be more forgiving when mistakes occur. Similarly, in an internship or a job, a good reputation can give someone the benefit of the doubt when their decisions or actions come into question. But even better than this, having a good reputation allows teachers, bosses, or people in a position of power over you to envision future success and allow you opportunities that someone else who lacks your reputation might not be granted. If you have a reputation of being punctual, hardworking, and reliable, people will be more willing to trust you with increased responsibility. At some point, those with good reputations will start to steadily rise above those without that reputation.
If you are looking at your current situation and you cannot confidently say that you have a good reputation, it is time to start working on that. Think of ways to prove to the people in your life that you are responsible, kind, and hardworking. As a student, the easiest way to do this with your teachers is to always put in your full effort to assignments and turn them in on time. If you are someone who struggles with grammar, go the extra mile and have a trusted individual proofread your work for you before you turn it in. If you are someone who is frequently late to class, start waking up ten minutes earlier and really make an effort to get to school on time. These efforts will not go unnoticed. Slowly, you will start to prove to people that you are deserving of a good reputation, and as we mentioned earlier, that reputation will stick with you.
- Bria