“Winning provides happiness. Losing provides wisdom.”

-Neil Patel

We live in a society driven by personal success. We measure our value, our societal status, and often times our worth on our level of success and achievement. Personal achievement or winning can be very important because in many cases it is a signifier of meeting a predetermined goal. In any case, winning establishes the winner as better than other competitors.

Winning feels great when it is happening, and it can be a great way to boost one’s self-esteem. The problem is, we cannot always be the best all of the time. Winning is an incredible high that can make us feel incredibly happy, but losing can crush our spirit, especially when the stakes are high. As adults we are able to separate our wins and losses from our self-esteem, at least to an extent. Children do not possess this ability naturally.

Throughout school, children will be presented with several opportunities to either succeed or to fail. It will be the natural tendency for the child to be very upset if he does not win something. Some children will take losing harder than others, so it is important to teach your child how to properly manage his emotions and deal with losses. It is okay for a child to be upset when he loses, but temper tantrums or long periods of sadness are not healthy. Show your child that losing is hard but important because it can teach him valuable life lessons.

On the other hand, it is important to celebrate your child’s wins as well. Help your child understand why winning is so sweet, because ultimately success is desirable for the child’s future. Celebrating your child’s success can boost his self-esteem and motivate him to continuously pursue success. If your child understands how to learn from failure and pursue success, she will be better equipped to deal with success and failure in adulthood.

-       Bria