Rumors are ugly things that cause pain and anguish for people more than “good” rumors which are often looked upon as being “helpful” hints. Yet, I’ve seen a few cases in my life when some good rumors caused people to make changes and investments which cost them much…only to find the good rumor never materialized.
Perhaps it is because I’ve been in a leadership position most of my life, but I find rumors like the Dandelions that crop up in my nice green lawn each summer. We just finish mowing the lawn and everything looks like a lush verdant green carpet. We go to bed and then wake up the next morning to see hundreds of ugly stems sticking up out of the grass…Dandelions! You just have to work and work to rid your yard of them. Even if you are diligent in removing the weed, neighbor yards are filled with them and soon the little seeds blow from the flower to any lawn within reach…including mine. So, the beat goes on….
Rumors are not truth. Yes, there might be a small sliver of truth to them, but in the long run, it is not enough to make them valid. Think about them for a minute. Usually they are told to someone else with guarded instructions such as: “Don’t tell anyone, but I heard…” or “If you tell someone I told you this, I’ll flat deny it!” Such secrecy should be a red flag to the listener. But many people just can’t seem to resist a bit of “insider information.”
If rumors are so terrible, why do people perpetuate them? I believe it’s all about POWER. In my administrative training, I was taught to be careful about how I worked with the “boss cow” of the organization. Who is that? It is the person who takes it upon him/herself to inform the rest of the staff of all pertinent information…usually right before the administrator releases that information. I’ve lived through quite a few of these power struggles. It is never a pleasant experience. How do you stop it? Simple: feed the wrong information to that person; then make a strategic change after he/she has put out her usual “boss cow rumors.” That causes the boss cow to lose credibility with the staff. It’s an ugly situation, and I have never enjoyed it, but I’ve had to deal with it from time to time.
Jesus wisely taught us to let our speech be truthful at all times. If we give our word, then keep it to the letter. The book of Proverbs also gives such advice. And just about everyone remembers the quote, “What a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.” If we tell the truth, we don’t have to remember what we told to whom. It makes life much easier. No, all rumors are not lies, but they can be wrong. Even if the rumor is true, the timing of letting the information out to others could be damaging. That’s why “insider trading” with the Stock Market is against the law and punishable by fines and/or imprisonment.
With children in school, rumors are really a power play and a control issue. Usually, it is the girls who take fancy to doing it. No teacher enjoys having to deal with it, but it is a fact of life in every school, in every classroom. Do we always know best how to handle it? Sometimes, we find it going beyond just the students involved, and the families get into the mix. Then, you really have an uncomfortable situation. The next step is usually, “I don’t want my child to sit near that child.” One can see quickly where that leads…who can sit where?!
This all sounds pretty negative, but I said at the beginning that I do not like rumors of any kind. I prefer to live my life one day at a time…experiencing life as it comes to me. It is too short and precious to waste much time on rumors about things that might be true, or that might happen, etc.
A good thought to pass along to children (and adults who need it) is: “What I am about to say…Is it kind?...Is it true?...Is it necessary?...Will it hurt anyone in the end?” If not, don’t say it. Then, constantly remind children that if we let our word always be truthful and honest, and if we keep our promises, people will trust us. A good reputation is worth far more than gold or rubies!
- Kay