As parents, we would all like to think that our children have healthy self-images.  If it were only we parents affecting our children’s self-image, that wouldn’t be a problem.  From the other kids at school to the voice on the other end of the video game they play on the Internet to the ads and social media that tell them how much better they could and should be, kids today get a lot of input about their self-images.  How can we as parents and teachers, help them to know what to accept and what to reject… especially when we are not always aware of all the opinions they receive?

   A person cannot consistently perform in a manner that is inconsistent with the way he sees himself.

    This is comforting if your child is performing poorly at school, but he sees himself as a good student.  Sooner or later, he is going to seek help for why these two don’t match.  But if your poor child sees himself as a “loser,” he will not be able to consistently perform well.  This should be your first hint that there is a problem with his self-image.  It all boils down to whether your child sees himself as a deserving person or not.  Does he deserve leadership positions or good grades or to make the team?  If he has a healthy self-image, then his answer will be “yes.”  If he doesn’t make those things, he will question why and seek to fix what is wrong.  But, if he feels undeserving, he probably won’t even try to become a leader, make good grades, or make a team.  Parents, you must step in when you have a child who feels undeserving of better for himself.  There is a cause, and you must find it.  You must also work to improve his self-image with every fiber in your being. 

  Dr. Joyce Brothers was fond of saying that an individual’s self-concept is the core of his personality.  This means that every aspect of his behavior is affected by his self-image.  His ability to learn, his capacity for change, and every choice he makes regarding friends, mates, and jobs.  How important is it that your child like himself?  Immensely important! 

   So, this is your challenge for the week:  find out for sure how your child’s self-image is.  It gets harder to find out the older he gets, so don’t wait.  If we are going to help your child become the leader he needs to be, he must be able to love himself.  You love him; show him all the reasons he should love who he is as well!

-          Michelle