The definition of courage changes depending upon the definer. Some of our current political figures and junior high kids in general seem to agree on this definition: Courage is calling someone out for his mistakes publicly. Daredevils call courage the next bigger feat. I think Anya in Frozen II gave a great definition, although I’m not sure it was courage that she was specifically defining: Do the next right thing.
A leader is scrutinized… repeatedly… every decision, every word, every move. My grandmother used to point out that Christians listen to the sermon and then come home and roast the preacher! I have always said that someone who desires to be the President of our nation has to be a little bit nuts. Why else would one invite such public scrutiny into his life and the lives of his family? So, why then would anyone choose to be a leader? Sometimes because it IS the next right thing.
Courage is recognizing special vision or talents or insight one possesses and then offering them in service. Courage is not quitting when criticized. Courage is choosing to ignore the hurtful words of others and just do your job. Courage is allowing others to grow in their wisdom as well.
These traits are so much harder to develop than the definitions at the top. Sure, it takes a lot of courage to be a dare devil. But, let’s face it, many dare devils love the adrenaline rush… so it doesn’t take as much courage for them as it does for a regular person. A courageous dare devil would be someone willing to call off the stunt because the risk is too high (due to weather conditions, etc.). That’s a giant risk. People might call him a chicken. But those same people would call him an idiot if he risked and lost his life or endangered others. Courage is recognizing that audiences are fickle and doing the next right thing.
One of the signs that a child is gifted is his intense fear of failure. For that reason, many gifted kids will not try new things. The risk of failure is just too high. We make our students try new things, and we tell them that it’s a safe place to fail. Failure is not the enemy. In fact, greatness is often born out of failure. The more the kids try, the more courageous they become. Parents, you can build courage in your gifted child by making them do some things. I know everybody loves the characterization of Sheldon on Big Bang Theory as the gifted person who will only do things his way. I, too, enjoy the character, but as a teacher of gifted, I feel his parents totally created a monster. Do not give in to the fears of your gifted child. My students and I have often discussed how irrational our fears are. We’re not afraid of playing chess against a college professor. Instead, we’re afraid of sharks in our pool or the monster under our bed (the one we can easily defeat by just keeping our toes under the blanket!). So, Parents, if our fears are irrational, how are you going to reason with us? Make us do it. If it goes well, we might try it again. If it doesn’t go well, make us know that we are in a safe place to fail and move on. You might be surprised what we will and can do! And if we can’t do it, have the courage to let us fail. That takes real courage!
- Michelle