Is there any group more interested in fairness than gifted kids? (Except, of course, when they’re about to lose!) Well, evidentially we have within us a built-in equalizer, and that is desire.
Our school is designed for gifted students, but highly-driven students do well, too. I often have parents tell me that they don’t know if their child is gifted, but he/she sure does work hard. I always tell them how much more I love working with that type of student. Gifted children don’t always feel the need to prove to teachers that they are smart. But a highly-driven student wants to prove he’s just as smart as a gifted kid. Because of that desire, he will outperform many gifted kids nine times out of ten. That’s my kind of student!
As parents of gifted kids, it is important that we cultivate desire. It’s also the trickiest thing we will ever have to do with our gifted kids. If we seem too excited about an activity, most gifted will pass. When we feign disinterest, and our gifted kid joins the activity, we have to be careful not to support too much. If we go “all in” and buy the best equipment and lessons, our gifted kids suddenly want to quit.
My advice is to support your gifted child’s endeavors but set some ground rules for all activities.
Once started, you cannot quit for the length of the season (or a year, if no season exists).
Should you decide to just quit trying since I won’t let you quit the activity, I will (fill in the blank) (... stop paying you allowance OR ...put you on restriction until you begin trying again OR … make you do so many hours of community service to make up for my wasted investment OR something like that.)
To promote desire regarding attending a good college and getting a good job, actually visiting college campuses and sticking around for an event is a great way to build desire. When a youth can get a vision of his future, it is amazing how much he will do to attain it.
The greatest thing about desire is that it can beat intelligence and unfair advantages to give pretty much anyone a fighting chance!
- Michelle