Diligence could be a synonym for “successful business owner.”  Why?  Because every year we witness a plethora of small businesses come and go in our city.  We’ve seen property for businesses sit on the “for sale” market for years without any interest being shown in them at all.  I think I can honestly say that a big part of that problem lies in diligence or the lack thereof.  The other reason for this folding of businesses in our area is the problem of “undercapitalization.”  Many people start businesses, happy and proud to be “the boss,” only to find it is harder work than that of just an employee.

            I’ve mentioned before the statement one of our parents made, “Congratulations, Johnsons.  You’re an overnight success…and it only took twenty years!”   Yes, owning a business takes a lot of diligence.  People are often amazed to find any one of the owners, Smiths or Johnsons and now the Saintcross family at the school daytime, nighttime, weekends, and even on holidays.  But, that’s often what it takes to complete one project and then to start another.

            Many people comment when they meet us, “It must be nice to own the school so you can take off whenever you want and let others do the work for you.”  No, we are the first to show up in the mornings to get things up and running and check for problems which might have occurred during the night.  We work all day, and then we are the last to close up and make sure things are safe and ready for the next day.  In our off-duty hours we shop and pick up supplies, etc.  In our structure, those off hours also include manual labor in keeping the facilities and grounds and equipment clean and working,

            So why would anyone in their right mind want to take on such an ominous task in the first place?  Put quite simply, we had a vision and a dream and each of us had a calling to work in the garden God provided for us.  With that mission in mind, it is easier to do the really hard things.  It is easier to put in the extra time, money, and working hours to see that dream unfold.  So, I might say that diligence plus vision equals a successful business.

            However, I would not stop here.  Each of us has a belief system that the educational paradigm in our country is a broken one in many places.  I’ve been applying what we’ve learned from brain research in the classroom and curriculum situation since the late 1970s.  I’ve been able to help change take place in my schools.  I’ve seen marginal teachers become master teachers.  I’ve seen students of all kinds buy into the fact that “man is wonderfully and beautifully created with a mind far greater than any technological invention ever created.”  What has been especially exciting to me is to have my children and my grandchildren join us in this adventure.  And guess what…they all work diligently to keep the dream a reality!  My daughter, Michelle, came along with an even larger dream and vision which we now see unfolding.

            No, there has been no magic bullet for any of us, no pot of gold to be discovered at the end of the rainbow.  It has taken, and is taking, every one of us giving due diligence to making the ABRAIN education model successful.  We do have some tips for skeptics: we put forth a lot of time in prayer, we treat others as we want to be treated, we try to be generous where it is needed, and we give God the praise for keeping His promises recorded in the Bible:  Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you.  If I ever find a spare moment, I’d love to write a book just listing the many miracles that have happened on this journey which has led us to this day in this place with this “successful school.”  It is truly an amazing journey!  

-        Kay

Humility

   We have had a phenomenal two weeks at Lawton Academy of Arts & Sciences.  Not only have we been scheduling lots of tours and interviews, but we also successfully purchased a huge new building to house our secondary school in the fall.  We have been blessed tremendously!  In the midst of all the celebrating, I have been very aware of how humble we should be.

   Humility is defined as a modest or low view of one’s own importance.  It would be very easy for us to think that we caused all of these good things to happen.  What’s it called?  Karma?  Maybe with all the good we’ve been doing, we somehow deserve to get all these blessings, right? The only problem with that theory is that the reverse would have to be true as well.  And I know that is not true.  The schools that had to close their programs because Covid-19 wiped out their monetary sources did not have that happen because of bad things they were doing.  It just happened to them, and it’s very sad.

   As I look to the fall semester, I am burdened with figuring out ways to make sure that the blending of three schools goes smoothly.  I want our kids to be proud of their school and welcoming to all new students.  But, I also want to recognize the fact that there are several kids who will have known each other from their previous schools, and they are naturally going to be drawn to each other.  The only way to help us all function under one roof is through humility.  None of us can become so proud of our previous designations that we cannot come together as survivors of a historical event such as the Covid-19 pandemic.  We have to create a new normal.

    I am confident that we can meet the needs of all of the students.  I am confident that we will be able to bring about new friendships and new visions for futures.  But, I am also keenly aware that the only way to truly be successful is to remember that, but by the grace of God, we could have lost our school.  We will take the duties God has assigned us and do them to the best of our ability.  We will love all of the children He sends, and we will do our best to recognize and help children cope with the pain of losing their schools.

    In the same vein, the building we bought is a former church.  The church will still use the auditorium on Sundays.  How heartbreaking it will be to walk through what once was your entire church building and know that you have lost all but the rental of the sanctuary.  It pains me to think of their loss.  God has led me to understand that, by buying the building, we have ensured that they will still have a place to worship on Sundays, and we have kept them form losing everything.  That’s truly humbling as well.

     So, I think I will redefine humility from my perspective:  Humility is remembering that your gain sometimes cost others a loss, and truly humble people do all they can to help those who suffered the loss, even as they are moving forward in their gain.

-          Michelle

Humility is a word that can come off negatively. This is likely because it is easy to think of humiliation when you hear the word. But in actuality, humility is a positive trait that means that you are humble. We have finished the list of 21 indispensable characteristics of a good leader, but we are not done teaching our students important leadership lessons. Humility is one of the most important traits for a leader to possess.

Nobody likes a sore loser, but nobody likes a sore winner either. We teach our kids from a young age the difference between having pride in your performance and gloating. We have some exceptional students at our school, and these students bring home lots of trophies and awards. It’s easy to get caught up in this feeling. We praise our students for their successes, and we do celebrate big wins, but we strive to make sure that no one gets a big head.

Similarly, for us, we are coming off a year with a stellar accreditation review, and we are anticipating great growth in the coming year. Among all of these accolades, we have to hold each other accountable and stay humble. In both situations (students and school), it is important to remember how we got here. Just like our student’s successes, it was not because of individual greatness but because of hard work and dedication. Remembering our morals and ethics can keep us grounded. 

A good way that many people look at humility is not to think less of yourself, but to think of yourself less. We have discussed in several of these traits the importance of putting other’s needs before our own. Leaders who believe they are better than their employees are not good leaders. This attitude creates a hostile environment which can lead to a lot of turnover in your staff. A good leader is willing to work in the trenches when needed. Throw out the idea that a job is beneath you. A staff that knows that you are willing to work with them and for them has all the potential to become highly productive and fiercely loyal. 

I saw a great quote with an unknown source that said, “When I talk to a manager, I get the idea that they are important. When I talk to a leader, I get the idea that I am important.” This idea is what separates middle management from executives, directors, and CEO. You do not want your staff to walk away from a conversation feeling inadequate. You should leave them feeling empowered. This in turn will inspire productivity. The best ideas come from employees who believe in themselves. If you are the type of leader who reminds employees why they are beneath you, do not be surprised when they lack the confidence to present visionary ideas. 

Having humility as a leader will keep you grounded and in touch with reality. It will also create a better work environment for those around you. When you have a healthy and respectful working environment, good ideas, positivity, and productivity can flourish. It is important that you model openness with your employees. People have such diverse backgrounds and experiences, and you never know what breadth of knowledge someone has to offer. Good ideas can come from any level of employee, but only if that employee feels empowered to share these ideas. If you want to be the kind of leader with a loyal, powerful, visionary staff, you must practice humility and put the needs of the employee before your own ego. 

-          Bria

Humility will be one of the lessons learned during this coronavirus crisis.  In the news today, I heard that the European tourist industry accounted for one-half of world-wide tourism, and this virus is nearly destroying it.  I remember our trip to Eastern Europe a few years ago.  Most places were welcoming and warm.  However, we did experience one tourist side-trip in which the retailers acted as if our tourism dollars, time and interest were not appreciated or wanted.  I do believe this crisis shutdown will probably cause that particular area to rethink its attitude and perhaps cause the people to greet new tourists with a humble spirit.

    I, myself, have felt more humbled as I have had to accept help from people in dealing with distance learning.  My husband laughs and tells everyone that I’m being dragged, clawing all the while, into the age of technology, screaming all the way.  Well, yes, I’ve worked comfortably in my own technology artifact museum for an entire career and done so pretty successfully.  Yet, I must now humbly admit that I need help in getting videos out to my students, and help in finding where that email suddenly disappeared to when it says “archived,” which I read means gone for good, and help in gaining the courage to appear with others in a zoom meeting.  All of this need for help is truly a humbling experience.

    It is thrilling, however, to see people from all walks of life taking on menial tasks like carrying groceries for neighbors, and sending pictures and greetings to people confined in nursing homes and hospitals.  When people are willing to give of themselves in whatever needs must be met, humility is developed.  Perhaps this will make the citizens of the United States a more humble and kind population.  Before this virus crisis, our national persona was downright mean, arrogant, and cruel.  People had no patience with anyone or anything.  Maybe, through the humbling experience of having to seek the help of others in beating this crisis, we will be a kinder and more gracious population.  

    My husband and I have always been generous tippers for our wait staff in restaurants and food establishments.  It always bothered me to see people “stiff” the waitress or waiter after a meal.  Perhaps now, seeing these people work long shifts seven days a week, bending over backwards to bring food to individual cars, etc., people will humbly thank them and give them generous tips for making our lives a little easier through all this.

    Many of our families in our school have been the essential workers in medical, emergency, and military fields.  I have texted with them in the late evening hours after their full workday followed with several hours helping with or going over their children’s schoolwork for the day.  I am thankful for their help, and I am humbled at their dedication.  My prayers go with them every morning and evening.   

-          Kay

“There’s a difference between knowing somebody and hearing about somebody. Just because you heard, doesn’t mean you know.”

-Unknown

Did you hear the rumor? They are going to let us out of our houses soon! Or was it that we are staying in until August? I’ve just heard so many stories, it’s hard to keep them all straight in my mind. There are a lot of rumors going around about this virus. Where it came from, how to fight it, when it will be gone, if it will come back. If you are like me, you are growing tired of all the misinformation. In the wake of this global pandemic, there are so many people contributing to the rumor spreading. We hear one thing from one news source and the opposite from another news source. When both are presented as fact, it can be hard to determine what is true. This spread of misinformation is damaging because we are getting so many different stories from seemingly credible sources, knowing that it cannot all be true. 

When you think about rumor spreading on an individual basis, it is not as harmful as mass rumor spreading, but it can still be very damaging to the individuals involved. When people hear a rumor from a trusted individual, it is easy for them to accept it as truth. Not enough people are critical of the information that they receive from those who are close to them. Once a rumor is believed by one individual, it easily spreads from person to person and becomes quite difficult to correct or contain. When even a handful of people have heard a rumor, there is little to be done to completely erase the misinformation. Once a rumor starts, it spreads like a fire. We can try to do damage control once it is out there, but even with a convincing argument, someone could still choose to believe the rumor after hearing the real story. The better course of action is to stop the spread of rumors in the first place. This practice starts with us. 

Right now in my business communications class, we just finished a section on intercultural communication. In this lecture, we talked about things like discrimination and from where that stems. Largely it is rooted in the fear or distrust of the unknown. But another major contributor to stereotyping and discrimination is the stories we make up in our heads. This refers to any information we assume or make up about someone without actually knowing it to be true. If you are thinking that this is not something that you do, you are likely mistaken. Think about the last time you looked at the way someone was dressed and made assumptions about how that person lives his/her life. Maybe it went something like this: you see someone dressed sloppily in public and in your head, you think something rude about that person, perhaps in regard to employment status, productivity, value, etc.

As humans, we have an innate desire to know things about other people. For some, this is a subconscious response. To satisfy this need we often fill in gaps of information in our head. That practice by itself isn’t necessarily wrong, but it can become bad when we start to accept this information as truth. The more we think about these made-up facts, the more they become a reality to us. This is the step in which it becomes dangerous. Once we accept these “stories” as truth, it is hard to backtrack and separate what is real and verified and what is not. It is easy for us to internalize these rumors and truth and spread them to those around us. In my opinion, these kind of rumors are more dangerous than intentional rumors, spread with the intention of hurting someone. I say that because these are rumors that we believe, so it is much easier to convince another person that it is true. This method of rumor spreading is much more common than rumor spreading with the intention of hurting another person’s reputation. 

There are a few things we can do to combat rumor spreading. The first is to realize when we are making assumptions about people and not internalize that information as truth. Next is to be critical of the information we receive from others. If it sounds outrageous, it likely is. Lastly, we can stop spreading information that we do not know to be true from first-hand experience. These are difficult things to do. If we can start to integrate these practices into our daily lives, we can really cut back on rumor spreading. If you have ever been on the wrong side of a nasty rumor, you know that this practice would be nothing but positive. 

- Bria

    Rumors are ugly things that cause pain and anguish for people more than “good” rumors which are often looked upon as being “helpful” hints.  Yet, I’ve seen a few cases in my life when some good rumors caused people to make changes and investments which cost them much…only to find the good rumor never materialized.

    Perhaps it is because I’ve been in a leadership position most of my life, but I find rumors like the Dandelions that crop up in my nice green lawn each summer.  We just finish mowing the lawn and everything looks like a lush verdant green carpet. We go to bed and then wake up the next morning to see hundreds of ugly stems sticking up out of the grass…Dandelions!  You just have to work and work to rid your yard of them. Even if you are diligent in removing the weed, neighbor yards are filled with them and soon the little seeds blow from the flower to any lawn within reach…including mine.  So, the beat goes on….

    Rumors are not truth.  Yes, there might be a small sliver of truth to them, but in the long run, it is not enough to make them valid.  Think about them for a minute. Usually they are told to someone else with guarded instructions such as: “Don’t tell anyone, but I heard…”  or “If you tell someone I told you this, I’ll flat deny it!” Such secrecy should be a red flag to the listener. But many people just can’t seem to resist a bit of “insider information.”

    If rumors are so terrible, why do people perpetuate them?  I believe it’s all about POWER. In my administrative training, I was taught to be careful about how I worked with the “boss cow” of the organization.  Who is that? It is the person who takes it upon him/herself to inform the rest of the staff of all pertinent information…usually right before the administrator releases that information.  I’ve lived through quite a few of these power struggles. It is never a pleasant experience. How do you stop it? Simple: feed the wrong information to that person; then make a strategic change after he/she has put out her usual “boss cow rumors.”  That causes the boss cow to lose credibility with the staff. It’s an ugly situation, and I have never enjoyed it, but I’ve had to deal with it from time to time.

    Jesus wisely taught us to let our speech be truthful at all times.  If we give our word, then keep it to the letter. The book of Proverbs also gives such advice.  And just about everyone remembers the quote, “What a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.”  If we tell the truth, we don’t have to remember what we told to whom. It makes life much easier. No, all rumors are not lies, but they can be wrong.  Even if the rumor is true, the timing of letting the information out to others could be damaging. That’s why “insider trading” with the Stock Market is against the law and punishable by fines and/or imprisonment.

    With children in school, rumors are really a power play and a control issue.  Usually, it is the girls who take fancy to doing it. No teacher enjoys having to deal with it, but it is a fact of life in every school, in every classroom.  Do we always know best how to handle it? Sometimes, we find it going beyond just the students involved, and the families get into the mix. Then, you really have an uncomfortable situation.  The next step is usually, “I don’t want my child to sit near that child.” One can see quickly where that leads…who can sit where?!  

    This all sounds pretty negative, but I said at the beginning that I do not like rumors of any kind.  I prefer to live my life one day at a time…experiencing life as it comes to me. It is too short and precious to waste much time on rumors about things that might be true, or that might happen, etc.  

    A good thought to pass along to children (and adults who need it) is: “What I am about to say…Is it kind?...Is it true?...Is it necessary?...Will it hurt anyone in the end?”  If not, don’t say it. Then, constantly remind children that if we let our word always be truthful and honest, and if we keep our promises, people will trust us. A good reputation is worth far more than gold or rubies!  

- Kay

  Every morning of the school closure during the Covid-19 pandemic, my mother and I compare notes as to what our morning news programs have told us.  We are always baffled at how two news teams in the same country can have such different stories. For instance, one morning last week, she spoke of protests to open the schools back up because no one can put their workers back to work until the kids aren’t at home.  My news team didn’t cover that; instead, they covered the fact that four more states had decided to close school for the remainder of the school year. Both of our news teams said that the peak had not been reached yet, but mine did a story on a doctor who ran antibody tests on people of his city and found that, not the 1,000 reported cases of Covid-19 had occurred, but 80,000 cases.  I got really excited that maybe the peak had been reached because we were dealing with this virus long before we knew it. Then I spoke to a doctor who said that the antibodies can be present for coronavirus but not be this strain of corona.  With all of the “information” out there, it’s hard to know what is truth and what is a spin.  Add to that the rumors that local fold tell, and you have a recipe for a lot of misinformation.

    This last week a fellow local private Catholic school shut its doors for forever.  It is very sad because the school has been there longer than Oklahoma has been a state!  As I interviewed students and parents seeking to move their children to our school, I was shocked to hear one parent ask if we now had actual graduations.  I couldn’t figure out what she meant. She said, “Well, I know you used to give GED’s. So, you’re accredited?” I quickly let her know that we have never given GED’s; we have always had diplomas.  Furthermore, we require diplomas of distinction, a classification of diploma Oklahoma offers. And as for accreditation, we are accredited by the same institution that accredits public, private, vocational, charter, and university schools in 77 countries including the U.S.  Not only did we receive the highest score they have seen in some time, we were given an award last year for being the Oklahoma school that best exemplifies the accreditation standards. She got way more information than she bargained for. Her response was, “I guess it was just a nasty rumor.”  Yep.

   The truth is, I hadn’t heard that one.  I had heard other derogatory names and all of them had rolled off my back. I don’t know why this one got to me. Maybe because we have been so proud of what we have built here that it was hard to know our town thinks otherwise… those who have actually heard of us, that is.  

   Rumors affect people very deeply.  And I need to warn you, parents of gifted, that your kids are capable of some pretty nasty rumor-spreading.  It is a tool in the arsenal of “winning.” I remember as a kid, arguing with my mother about anything and everything.  I knew I was not being nice, but, in my head, I kept thinking But she’s wrong!, and I couldn’t stop, even though I was being really mean, because she was wrong.  As a principal of gifted students, I am glad I remember this about myself.  It helps me when I am dealing with a student who is arguing unfairly. I acknowledge that they feel the other person is wrong, but I admonish that that is no excuse for being mean.  While the gifted student may soften his answer for that encounter, an enemy has been born, and many gifted will then eagerly spread anything bad heard about that person, whether its truth or not.  

   You have no idea the drama that plays out every day in a gifted and talented secondary school!  For gifted middle schoolers, it’s about power and romance and friendships. I know, all teens fight about these things; gifted just don’t move on as quickly.  In high school, the students hurt deeply inside. Every insult causes a night of self-examination that leads into an intense loneliness that causes many of their answers to come out as retorts.  Then they get in trouble for disrespect, and a whole new round of self-loathing begins.  

   If this sounds familiar, your gifted teen is in need of a place to talk.  I encourage you to find someone - a youth pastor, a counselor - someone to whom your teen can talk about life and its issues.  Because your teen is gifted, he/she will internalize messages incorrectly and develop negative thinking in a way that cannot be overcome without help.  

    “... but words will never hurt me” comes from the babblings of a parent trying to not have to put up with drama.  Words hurt the gifted child twofold because he already hates that he cannot solve the world’s problems. It’s too easy just to believe the rumors and remain uninvolved and unengaged.

• Michelle

Vision

It’s ironic that perfect vision is denoted as 20/20 when 2020’s vision is so unclear right now. As we come to the end of this series we discuss vision as the final leadership trait. Generally, vision is something that is future thinking. But right now I want to look back at the entire series and discuss our vision for teaching the children these traits. 

At LAAS we say that we are training the leaders of tomorrow. Even more so than advanced education and differentiated curriculum, our leadership lessons give the students important tools that will help progress their careers. We have gone through twenty-one important characteristics of a good leader. This series has covered everything from character, to listening, to self-discipline. So many leadership lessons focus on traits like confidence and motivation, but traits like servanthood and generosity are left on the back burner. These “softer” traits are just as important as traits like initiative. 

Today we talk about another leadership trait that is not necessarily at the forefront of leadership training. Vision is important for goal setting, focus, and planning. It also allows leaders to see potential future hardships, opportunities, and threats. Leaders should have a clear vision of the next steps of success for the company. Having this vision makes it easier to plan and implement tactics and strategies that will allow the company to move towards success. 

 Vision becomes tricky when going through difficult times such as these. As a leader, you must maintain future vision even during hardships. Right now leaders are being asked to make plans for a future that entails a lot of uncertainty. It’s important for leaders to be level headed and to try to make decisions that are the best for the entirety of the company and its stakeholders. I have encouraged the students in my classes to pay attention to CEOs of companies. This is a great time to witness good vision and leadership as well as bad vision and leadership. There are so many things we can learn about leadership by observing other leaders in a time of crisis. I believe good leaders are communicating clear visions and expectations for the current situation. One thing that our young leaders will hopefully take from this experience is the importance of crisis planning in the company vision. A successful vision is one that includes not only the essential, necessary, and high priority items. A good vision is all-encompassing and should include plans for unforeseen circumstances. 

There is a great way that our students can practice vision during the quarantine. Future leaders, with the extra time you have at home, take some time to develop the vision for your own life. Think about what you want to be when you grow up. Where do you want to go to college? What kind of job would you like to have and what will it take to get qualified for that job? Developing and implementing a vision for your own life will help hone this skill and make you more prepared to be a visionary leader. Go online and do some research and start planning for your future. This practice will develop more skills and traits on this list than just vision. Get motivated and take control of what you can control right now. By doing this, you will be taking important first steps to become a great leader.

-          Bria

     Every parent of a school-aged child in America wishes he could give his child a clearer vision of what’s ahead.  “When do we get back to normal?” has replaced “Are we there yet?”  The problem is that we know the answer to “Are we there yet?”  We do not know an answer to give our kids in regard to a return to normalcy.   If you’re like me, you listen intently to timelines from China and South Korea and Italy, and you dare to hope when some talking head mentions a city reaching its peak and plateauing.  “Do we all get in on that plateau?”  “No, your peak is still coming.” 

    With no end date in sight, it’s hard to give kids a vision of the near future.  And without a vision, it’s hard to prove that what we are requiring kids to do while in quarantine is worth it.  It is worth it.  When all is over, our kids will come out better than those in the schools who have not taught anything new or much at all.  But how do you convince a kid that working while others are taking it easy will put him ahead of them someday way down the road?  You have to make sure each day is filled with purpose.

    So, let me give you some purposes you can give your child when he questions the validity of our continuing to learn when so many others are not: 

1)       Every year at Lawton Academy is tougher than the year before.  Students who come to us during the middle and high school years struggle tremendously to keep up with our students unless they’ve come from an equally driven program.  Many do not last more than that first year.  To be able to stay at Lawton Academy till senior graduation, a student has to seek as much knowledge as possible.

2)       Until colleges no longer require ACT or SAT scores for admission, scoring high on these tests is still the best way to get into the best colleges.  The more you learn, the higher you score on the test.

3)      We at Lawton Academy are known for our excellence.  We teach excellent lessons, and our kids perform excellently.  People all over the town know that Lawton Academy students are the best.  We become the best by doing the work to be the best.

4)      The ultimate goal of our students is to make themselves as marketable to colleges and potential employers as possible.  The more we stand out from the others, the more marketable we are.  This is us standing out even more than those around us.

5)      1.37 billion students world-wide are now being schooled at home.  Only some of the school districts have taken the stance that students should be given little work.  This means that many more are doing exactly what we are.  So, maybe we’re standing out from the ones around us, but we might just be keeping up with others.

   Vision requires looking to the future, and when adults are confused about what’s ahead, it’s hard for kids to have a vision.  But we will recover.  We will go back to a normal existence, with a few changes due to our new circumstances. 

   I am most excited about some of the changes we’re considering because of what we’ve been through.  Our teachers are branching out into technology they would have never considered had we not had to implement distance learning.  I just solicited proposals regarding school procedures, both during the quarantine and in next year’s program from my secondary students, and I got some phenomenal ideas… some that we have already implemented.  It is exciting to work with a group of kids and teachers who have a vision of the future – of their own futures and of the future of this school. 

   No one expects a young child to have a clear vision of his future.  After all, very few teens have a clear vision.  But every experience a person has is useful for his future.  Helping your child to know his strengths, take risks, and investigate that about which he is curious (safely) will help your child see a vision of his future.  So, the next time your child asks when the quarantine will end, just say, “Soon… so let’s use this time without outside distractions to get us closer to our visions of the future!”

-          Michelle

Many leaders have a “vision” about their particular projects, missions, or corporations.  I am no different.  Over my lifetime, I’ve had many such visions.  My husband has always had “plans” such as a five year plan, ten year plan and an “eventually” plan.  My visions have not been on the timeline order, but they have always grown out of my convictions.

    As a teenager who was most impressed with the life story made into a movie about Peter Marshall, a Scottish preacher who became chaplain of the U.S. Senate, I had a vision of living a God-centered life based upon the teachings of Jesus of Nazareth. Catherine Marshall, the widow of Peter Marshall, corresponded twice with me during my life about how God leads us to fulfill our “calling” and how we find that success through faith and prayer.  Her many books came into my possession, strangely enough, at just the perfect time…given to me randomly by people whose paths I crossed.  This guidance, along with my practice of daily Bible reading, has been a roadmap for me for over sixty years…and has always led me to success.  I give God the credit.

    When fifty Hmong families moved into my school district in the 1970s, I had one of those “project” visions.  We had passed a bond issue that allowed us to build a gymnasium for our school.  However, we didn’t have the funds to put in a floor.  I prayed about the dilemma and asked our city’s philanthropic foundation if they would grant us the funding. I was immediately informed that the answer was “No, because they do not fund school projects.”

    I could not give up on the “vision” I had for my students, American and Hmong alike.  One night I was awakened with the strongest feeling that I must sit down and write to that same Foundation again…pleading my case. I explained how the floor would really help benefit not only our children, but these refugees who risked their families’ lives to help the Americans against the Vietcong.  I swore my secretary to secrecy as she typed the letter I had scrawled out in the wee hours of the morning.  I told God in my prayers, I believe this directive is from You.  So, when it happens, I will give You the credit!

    It wasn’t but a week or so until my husband was approached by the chairman of that Foundation who said, “Your wife’s letter to us reached us and caused us to rethink the decision.

Our school received the funding for the gym floor, I made sure that God’s awakening me in the night to write the letter was written into the official school board minutes of our district. The funny outcome was my students would tell me on different occasions their parents would tell them that when Mrs. Johnson prays for something…it happens!”

    My “vision” for education and my “vision” as a teenager to help young people not to suffer because of abusive home situations, and to help gifted students to be successful regardless of their socioeconomic backgrounds, hasn’t changed in the long term.  However, I have had my vision altered several times as my daughter, Michelle, became part of the ABRAIN corporation.  Her visions have expanded what I dared to dream.  The excitement of seeing God bring success through her visions and those of J.T., her husband, has been most rewarding.

    I can’t imagine life without some sort of vision out there in front of me toward which I am working. And recently, my granddaughter Bria and Tony have come along side us and brought even more vision of what can be.  In fact, I figure there’s enough vision and purpose now to keep Jim and me active for another six to ten years!  

    It is a good feeling to watch a vision take shape, begin to breathe, and then to take on life of its own.  I have had that pleasure many times over during my life.  I haven’t even mentioned the sheer joy I receive every time a former student contacts me to tell me of his success in life.  It is probably this last statement that is the reason so many people become teachers, or any kind of leader in the first place.  

    One thing I know: leaders who have become so because of a “vision” in their mind and heart are some of the most joyous people I know.     

- Kay

Teachability

   Our society is focused heavily on ability and achievement. Our abilities advance our careers, social life, and relationships. Athletes with the physical abilities to play a particular sport at an advanced level are paid millions of dollars to do so on a professional team. Web developers who have the ability to code and create impressive websites are rewarded with major contracts to develop websites for large companies. College placement is at least partially calculated by one’s ability to succeed in standardized testing. We live in a society that praises ability. So why does that word mean less when added onto existing words? Believability. That’s an important characteristic. But not as valued as overall ability. Adaptability is another example. Being adaptable is a valuable asset, but even that does not seem to be more important than raw abilities. Something that I view as even more important is teachability. Arguably this is the least valued of any of the aforementioned traits. 

Teachability is an incredibly important trait for everyone. There is a seemingly limitless wealth of knowledge available to us in the modern age. Gaining knowledge is often associated with personal growth. But not everyone has the curiosity bug that makes him actively seek out new information. So how do we learn and grow as humans? I believe most people learn primarily from others. In our adolescence, there are endless opportunities to learn from those around us. Teachers, parents, coaches, and other adults with which we come into contact offer up advice, life lessons, and in many ways lead by example. This is why we refer to these years as the formative years. As young children, people are often eager to learn. But as we get older, we often become more and more closed off to other’s knowledge. 

A big reason that we stop learning from others is ego. We believe that we know better than another person. Remember being a teenager and thinking, “My parents just don’t get it”? It’s like that, but replace parents with a boss, manager, significant other, etc. While it is important to be critical of the information you receive from others, closing yourself off to learning from those around you only hurts you. There are so many contributing factors to how a person grows up. The people around you might have had a very different upbringing. These unique experiences taught them something that you might not have learned in your life. Being open to learning from those around you means that you can have the benefit of learning from their mistakes without having to make those mistakes personally. Additionally, people are a wealth of knowledge on specific skills and hobbies that you might not possess. Being teachable might allow you to learn some very useful and marketable skills. 

As a leader, it is easy to put yourself in the role of the teacher rather than the student. While in many cases you should teach those around you, specifically those working under you, you cannot close yourself off to learning opportunities. Technology is a great equalizer in terms of learning. Generally speaking, it takes time to climb the corporate ladder. This means that as a leader, you will have younger people working under you. There are many instances in which younger people are more knowledgeable about technology. If you set aside your ego, you can learn a lot from your intern or entry-level employee.

Leaders should always be open to learning and improving. In most cases, even the top leaders of a company are held accountable by a board of directors, investors, or constituents. Leaders that are not teachable miss out on opportunities for growth and improvement. In the case of a leader functioning with a board of directors, this is multiple experienced and qualified people that to which you have access. Not utilizing the variety of backgrounds, opinions, and experiences to your advantage is unwise and will likely impact the quality of work your produce. On the flip side, being open to learning from these people can help spark new ideas and collaborative thinking. The thing about being teachable is that you have nothing to lose and everything to learn. As long as you fact check when necessary and be critical of information that sounds false, you can only benefit from learning from others.

-       Bria

Teachability…I’m laughing out loud right now!!!  I guess I should look at this as irony since my husband has joked with everyone this past week that I’ve entered the technology age screaming and clawing my way into it.  Oh well, we’ve found that I am living proof that you can teach an old dog new tricks!  He/she may not be happy about it, but eventually we wear down if not just to save our shattered nervous systems!

    The first step under this leadership trait talks about curing your destination disease.  I understand this completely, for I’ve changed my destination several times as Lawton Academy has grown and taken several sidesteps from my original plan.  As we’ve all seen, the sidesteps were beneficial and necessary for the school to be relevant today.  

    Overcoming one’s success is another part of this trait.  I’ve found myself giving more and more of the leadership role to my daughter, Mrs. Smith.  She’s become the spokesperson for the school and has handled this responsibility quite well.  It was a joy for me to recognize this shift by proclaiming a “Thank You, Mrs. Smith Day” at the school.  My pride in her easily replaced my pride in the past accomplishments I experienced in my own career.  

    Swearing off shortcuts is another positive act towards being teachable.  I’ve never liked shortcuts unless it was one I developed to help a struggling student catch up to his classmates in his academic skills.  I learned a long time ago from Mr. D. Clemmer, and from my husband that to be successful, you have to “spend money to make money.”  That rule applies to quality, not just monetary value.  If you want students to respect and take care of the property, you have to do the same,  starting with good quality property.  If you want a quality program of education, you must hire quality teachers and staff.  It is not enough for an applicant to tell us he/she has a teaching certificate.  We  expect an applicant who is multitalented, credentialed, etc.

    The last guideline listed in these qualities of a leader states, “Never pay twice for the same mistakes.”  I can truly say that when I’ve made mistakes, I made sure not to pay for that same mistake again.  So, now people know why my computer equipment is referred to by friends and family as the “Dinosaur Pit of Technology.”  Once I’m able to produce the product, I refuse to go out and buy the latest new version of something that is working fine for me.        Kay

    I’ve mentioned before that my father’s mother lived with me the last nine years of her life. That was from 85 to 94.  She taught me that learning never ends.  My favorite things about her include the fact that she learned Spanish so that she could teach it to my kids the years we home schooled, that she continued to go to women’s Bible study almost right up to the end, and that she read a Psalm every morning so she could begin the day with praise and a Proverb every evening so she could be convicted of her transgressions that day.  I loved discussing the Bible with her.  I know she had it memorized.  Yet, she and I could discover something in our discussions that neither of us had ever considered.  The most important concept that she taught me, though, was that the end of learning is the end of living.  Oh, we can still be alive, but we’re not really living.

   But teachability isn’t just about learning new concepts.  It’s about the willingness to learn from others.  I think most of us are pretty choosey about who gets to teach us lessons.  We are quick to put those we deem less experienced in their places. To truly be teachable, we must be willing to learn from anything and anyone… a friend, an enemy, the smallest child, a bit of history.

   There are very few gifted children who will allow themselves to be taught by Mom or Dad without a fight.  They declare they understand when they clearly do not.  They fight the method with phrases like, “That’s not how the teacher explained it” and “I don’t know how I do it. I just don’t do it that way.”  The parent often wants to just leave them to their own understanding and watch them fail. And that’s okay.  Failure is a great teacher. 

   For years now, I’ve called myself a self-taught pianist.  The reality is that my mother tricked me into learning how to play the piano.  Oh, I wanted to learn; I just didn’t want lessons.  I wanted to do it myself.  So, at the tender age of five, my mother, a piano teacher to some of the finest pianists I know, bought me piano books and let me work out my own understanding of how the piano was played.  If I was struggling, she’d find a way to help me without me realizing she was teaching me.  By the time I was in junior high, I was accompanying my school choir at practices.  It wasn’t until high school, though, that I learned a very basic skill. 

   A friend and I had been asked to play the scale and the starting pitches for singers trying out for an honor choir.  My friend had been taking lessons for as long as I had been playing, but she was mortified when she saw how I played a scale.  See, under my own instruction, I had skipped all the scale playing and arpeggios and such.  She graciously showed me the correct (and much easier than mine) method to play the scale, and I became intensely aware that I still had a lot to learn.

   Your gifted child will catch on to skills very quickly.  He will do math in his head and make puns like a night-show host and catch on quickly to concepts well-beyond what he should.  It is very tempting to gush over his abilities.  We teach kids every day who have been bathed in praise, and no one has ever criticized them.  We have lost fantastic students who could not stand the fact that we pushed them to grow.  They were comfortable in their little worlds where everything they did drew ooh’s and ahh’s.  We had just seen it before. It didn’t impress us.  It was, in fact, all around us. 

   When I get a gifted student such as this, I remind him that he is not there to impress me with all he already knows.  If he knows everything I have to teach him that year, I will just make the lessons more advanced.  I want him to be willing to stretch his mind beyond his comfort zone.  I want him to explore possibilities beyond the absolute world he has created.  More often than not, these students leave the school.  Why wouldn’t this child favor an environment where every word and deed are applauded as genius over one where we push and struggle to get him to think outside of his box?

  How does one teach his gifted child to be teachable?  I would say the first step is to let him fail.  Don’t let your child always win.  Do some competitions he can honestly win and do others at which he will have to work to beat you.  The second step is to not allow quitting.  Gifted children are the world’s worst for backing out if they sense danger of looking foolish or inept or just not “the best.”  Whatever your child begins, make him finish.  Just for the season… not for forever.  He needs to see it through.  Show him the “opportunity cost.”  What will he give up should he choose to quit?

     And the third step would be to help him to trace his path from where he was to where he is now.  Hindsight is the best teacher.  When he looks at how far he has come, he gains confidence to try something new the next time.                                        - Michelle

Servanthood

Welcome back! How are you? Surviving isolation? We miss you and your children and hope to see everyone soon!

This week we are talking about servanthood. This is such an important leadership trait and a great time to talk about it. Oftentimes servanthood, volunteering, helping others, and the like gets pushed off and procrastinated because we are too busy and don’t have enough time. Well, now we have all the time in the world. So how do we practice servanthood in times of isolation?

A great way to serve others is to check in with them. Call your grandma, reach out to a friend, listen to a classmate’s hardships. Quarantine is really hard on people who struggle with mental health, depression, and anxiety. Unfortunately, people dealing with these issues often deal with them alone. Be proactive and reach out to a friend who has been quiet. Invite him to a Skype watch party or just call him and ask them how he is staying busy. This gesture could mean a lot to that person. Reaching out can help others more than you know.

If you are someone with younger siblings at home, a great way to practice servanthood is to give your parents a break from childcare. Take your younger sibling outside and play with him for a while. Keeping children, especially young children, indoors can lead to chaos. Many of our parents are balancing children, work, and online schooling for their young children. That is a lot with which to keep up. Help out your parents by giving them a break, making dinner, or vacuuming the floor. 

For the parents reading, the children aren’t the only ones that need to practice servanthood during this time of quarantine. Once we start online classes, your children are going to interact with lessons in a very different way than they are used to. Do what you can to help with this transition. Try to give your child a quiet place to do school. Creating a designated school space can provide younger children a sense of security and routine that they need during this time. 

A final way that everyone can practice servanthood during this time is by being patient with each other. Parents, try to refrain from yelling at your children when they are wound up. Understand that they are cooped up just as much as you are, and they do not have the same maturity and understanding to deal with it. Students, be kind to your siblings. It is easy to fight when kept in close quarters. Managing some of these emotions will help the overall stress level of the house. Finally, be patient with your teachers as they take their lessons online. Some things might not go as expected. It will definitely be a learning curve for us all. Treating teachers, parents, and students with kindness and grace will help everyone get the most out of distance learning.                                                                 

-          Bria

    Gifted people, by nature start out very giving.  My son wanted to save the world.  My daughter was always “gifting” people with anything she could make.  If this desire is nurtured, it doesn’t go away.  Unfortunately, for most gifted as they enter the teen years, the desire is not nurtured.  In fact, it’s frowned upon and even ridiculed... by peers.  To make matters worse, the idea that you must be better than all the competition to get ahead crowds out the thoughts of sharing and helping others.  By the time a gifted teen becomes a leader, he tends to be very position-conscious and self-serving. 

    This is a necessary journey, though.  Sometimes we have to become the cruelty for awhile to understand the difference between the two.  Fortunately, there are people in our lives that remind us of our humble roots, reprimand us for our unkind ways, and teach us how to become servant leaders.  Parents, this is your job.  Others will join you, but they won’t be as nice about it.  You love your child, no matter what.  It is your job to teach him how not to become full of himself.   

    There are many ways to create a servant heart in your child.  The first is to teach him to give from the beginning.  I taught my kids that new toys meant gently used old toys had to go to Goodwill so that mothers less fortunate could purchase them for their children.  My kids always did the choosing and helped me take them to Goodwill.  You can teach giving through volunteering time at local charities, helping a neighbor, or just visiting the lonely, like at a nursing home.

Once you’ve fanned the already-present desires of a gifted child to serve, you need to prepare yourself for when he grows a little more selfish with his time.  Every one of us goes through this stage; it should not become a phase you try to stamp out.  Instead, you need to mandate certain areas of giving - like doing chores, watching younger siblings, or giving a tithe – and give your child some room to be a little selfish.  There are a lot of things going on as he travels through adolescence, and most of them aren’t the things you share with Mom and Dad!

   Volunteering opportunities come along at about the age of fourteen.  Watch for them and be ready to encourage your teen to join.  Unlike when your child was young, don’t make this a family venture.  Let your teen do some volunteer work with others.  It is in this time that your teachings will return, and admonishments for selfishness given by a peer will go much further in helping him develop a servant heart than if you did it.

    Because gifted are natural-born leaders, it won’t be long until your teen is accepting some leadership.  No one is scrutinized more than a leader.  My grandmother used to say, “On Sunday, we all go to church, and then we come home to roast the preacher.”  When you are in the public eye, everyone has an opinion about how you are doing.  It is in interacting with the people he is serving that your teen will learn how to serve with a humble heart.  He might not love his constituents yet.  But he will learn to.  Before you know it, you have a young adult who is truly practicing servanthood.

    If we are going to make a difference in this world, it is going to have to be through leaders who have no other intentions than helping people.  Egotistical leaders on the me-train do little good for the public.  There are plenty of those type of leaders out there.  And where are the gifted in all of this?  Not typically in leadership positions.  No, somewhere along the way, they became jaded to service because of all the people who pointed out what they did wrong.  We all know how much gifted hate to fail and being reprimanded by the public feels like failure.  This is precisely why we push our gifted students at our school to compete.  We want them to put their stuff out there so they can learn from their failures.  We want them to see that failing is commonplace and necessary for growth.  We want them to experience the agony of defeat so that they can truly enjoy the thrill of victory.  And then we want them to help the world.  A leader with a servant heart is great, but a leader who is gifted and also has a servant heart is a game changer. 

-          Michelle

     Servanthood is alive and well in the United States!  The Coronavirus has brought to the forefront that wonderful American trait of “helping others” which I, for one, thought was long gone from the psyche of most citizens!  Remember, I was born during the last years of World War II when all U.S. citizens were asked to deny themselves of things like real butter, to ration gas and foods, and to buy stamps to help the war effort.  So, I grew up with the idea that it was the right thing to do…to think of the needs of others!

    My husband and I thank God each morning for the blessings we have as Americans.  We are especially praying for all the health care workers, researchers, food industry providers, even the truck drivers hauling produce around the nation. And we don’t forget the military members who do whatever it takes to make our nation and people safe! What makes us most happy is watching a very divided nation making strides to work together for the common good instead of pushing forth individual agendas.  We are also praying for our President and national leaders as they are having to make very difficult decisions and choices.  Why would anyone seek to become the President?!

    I believe our young children will remember this experience just like I remember the years following WWII.  This will give them those “Why, when I was a child, we had to…” stories to tell their children and grandchildren!  Yes, they will be far better citizens for having to go through this.  (As will all of us!)

    In a leadership role, I’ve always operated on the notion that if I do what I expect my staff to do…alongside of them…in addition to my own duties…I will have more respect from them.  I am in the trenches with them.  I make the same mistakes they make.  I grow frustrated with the same stressors they have.  In other words, they can believe me when I tell them, “I understand your feelings…I’ve been there.”  This relationship makes it easier to lead and to accomplish the goals of our school.  

    What better example than Jesus Christ… “Greater love has no man than this: that he lay down his life for a friend.”  So, I don’t think of servanthood as a servant’s position in life, but rather as an act of love for my fellow man!   

-          Kay

Spring Break

We’re on spring break… but the coronovirus may extend our being out of school. Because we teach the kids the leadership quality we have been discussing here, we’re not going to continue writing until school is back in session. We wish your family good health. Hopefully, we will be back to writing soon!

Michelle

Self-Discipline

I often hear people say, “I have no self-discipline.” Everyone has self-discipline. We just choose not to exercise it at times. I know what I need to do to be at a healthier weight; I just don’t choose to do that. It involves restricting foods and beverages I like and spending some time exercising, and I don’t want to give up those foods yet or spend that time exercising.

    Now there are other things about which I am incredibly self-disciplined!  For instance, I do not, have not, and will not ever smoke. I don’t load a bunch of games on my phone because I know I will waste time playing them.  I stay off social media because I don’t like intentionally making myself mad.  And on Sunday evenings at 7:00, the BBC is on at our hose for another episode of Dr. Who!

   Self-discipline comes when we challenge our excuses.  A placard in my room reads:  Excuses only satisfy the person who makes them.  So true.  I have to admit, though, that sometimes I don’t fully form the excuses in my head expressly because I would then have to address them!  Ah, the links to which we humans will go not to have to be self-disciplined. 

   But here’s the trade-off:  people who lack self-discipline must be disciplined by some other entity.  Students in our school who do not get good grades receive extra-curricular restriction.  Too many times of extra-curricular restriction with no observable change, and the student can lose the right to attend the school.  If I choose not to discipline myself regarding my weight, my body will begin to discipline me through issues with blood pressure, heart disease, and possibly diabetes. 

    So, I guess the thing we have to realize is that discipline will come.  Do we want it to come from our hand or from someone or something else?

    This is a great way to pose the question of self-discipline to your gifted child or teen.  You don’t want to do the homework?  You are owning the poor grades and the consequences that go with those grades (activity suspension, less choice for college attendance, no one wanting you on their team for a project).  If parents would help kids to see that their discipline comes only after the child has chosen not to self-discipline, much of the guilt of parenting would be gone.  You did not cause that child to make a bad decision.  You simply related the consequences of making that decision.  The child chose the consequences by making that decision; you were not involved. 

     I love the way our PreK – K classes discipline.  They have a sliding scale with clothespins with each child’s name on one.  The kids’ clothespins all start in the middle of the scale at the beginning of the day.  If a child is making a bad choice, the teacher gently points out the error of the child’s way.  If the child continues to make that bad choice, the teacher has the child move the clothespin down one level so that the child understand that he made the decision that caused the downward movement.  Later on, if that same child does something really responsible or great, he gets to move the clothespin back up.  As he makes decisions throughout the day, the clothespin reflects his choices.  By the end of the day, the parents cannot see the journey… just where he landed.

     Now, compare that to a red light, greenlight, or yellow light given at the conclusion of a preschooler’s day.  The child brings home a red light.  When asked by mom, “What for?”  He shrugs his shoulder and says, “The teacher doesn’t like me.”  The student does not see where he has any influence over that decision at all.  And he so does!  His behavior caused the teacher to give that color.  But he’s not looking at the whole day because he’s already forgotten everything since lunch!

   Self-discipline begins when we are conscious that we bear the burden to regulate our behavior.  Teach your children this principle early, Parents.  It will save a mess of excuses headed your way!

-       Michelle

Self-discipline is actually harder to accomplish than the discipline of another person.  It is far easier to see flaws and imperfections in others than it is to see them in ourselves and then to correct them.  As an artist, I realize this tendency more than most people.  As an artist works away at a piece of art, the tendency is to see what he/she wants it to be…rather than what it really is.  The solution to this problem is simple. Take the piece of art and hold it up in front of a mirror.  Immediately the imperfections will become strikingly clear!

    When I think of discipline, I see the same situation.  It is easy for me to list those issues   I want students to overcome.  I can see what is still lacking in their performance.  Yet, I am almost blind to my own weaknesses, or I realize little hints at what I need to improve…but finding the time or resolve to work on them isn’t nearly as important as “fixing” others!  Isn’t this the whole human condition?!

     There are all kinds of self-help books out there to guide us as we tackle all kinds of self-improvement.  Yet, daily we see scores of undisciplined lives around us.  As I have mentioned in previous blogs on this site, the majority of today’s young children seem to be lacking any kind of discipline.  But instead of bemoaning the “Department Store Syndrome of Temper Tantrums,” I have actively done something about it.

    I have taken a proactive stand with our students and have encouraged our staff to do likewise.  We simply will not give in to tantrums, drama, manipulations or generally bad behavior from our students.   I make our expectations very clear and reward when behavior merits it…punish when bad behavior is exhibited.  I must admit that Michelle is more consistent with this than any of us, but her diligence in this matter has protected our students and school many times in the past.

    This weekend at church, a retired school administrator complimented our middle school students who attended a science and engineering camp.  She talked about their behavior and participation being noteworthy.  That’s what convinces me that we are doing the right thing in setting high expectations for our students.  It reminded me of the I Dare You book and program started by William H. Danforth, founder of Ralston Purina Company.  He reminds us that “life is a four-sided affair…physical adventures, mental adventures, social adventures, [and] spiritual adventures.  You have not one, but four lives to live – a four-fold opportunity to grow.  A body, a brain, a heart, and a soul – these are our living tools.  To use them is not a task.  It is a golden opportunity…Sir Wilfred Grenfell’s message: Man must play, work, love and worship to get the most out of life.”  The whole promise is, “the more you share with others, the more you have yourself.  One of Life’s great rules is this: The more you give, the more you get.”

    When we dare to take a challenge, we can accomplish much – even self-discipline.  It was such a challenge that motivated William H. Danforth and countless others to achieve the seemingly impossible.  His challenges stir our inner being to do something: “I Dare You, who think life is humdrum, to start a fight.  I dare you who are weak to be strong; you who are dull to be sparkling; you who are slaves to be kings.  I Dare You, whoever you are, to share with others the fruits of your daring.  Catch a passion for helping others and a richer life will come back to you!”    I accepted this challenge long ago.  I have never regretted it.  It is the drive that keeps me strong and active in the lives of my students and their families…even at the age of seventy-five+ years.   

-       Kay

Self-discipline: we all know that we need it, but how many of us really have it? Once a year we all muster up some self-discipline to commit a resolution for 1-6 weeks, but not many people can keep up these standards year-round. If self-discipline is something that we can recognize as being good for us, why do so few actually practice self-discipline on a regular basis? I believe it is because self-discipline is hard and it takes a lot of work, and not every person is willing to take on that extra effort. 

One thing that can distinguish leaders from followers is self-discipline. In the workplace, self-discipline is shown through completing projects on time or early, being self-motivated, putting in extra work, and pushing yourself beyond what is expected of you. Many of the things that make a leader stand out are rooted in self-discipline and personal standards. When candidates are considered for promotions, things like motivation and self-drive  can set one candidate apart from another.

Self-discipline is incredibly important, but it is not typically something that is innate in people. For most self-disciplined people there is a process of honing that skill and developing the necessary motivation. So how do we help our children (and let’s be honest, us too) learn this skill? An important first step is to understand your weaknesses. This will help you understand how to combat these weaknesses. If you know that procrastination is a weakness of yours, set earlier deadlines for yourself so you are always ahead of schedule rather than behind. If you are easily tempted by social outings and opportunities, make sure to work ahead so you have breathing room if an opportunity comes up. Another thing to do is to create habits and daily practices to get yourself into a routine. Creating this behavior will establish learned discipline that will get easier the more you practice. 

Once you begin to successfully form habits and build your self-motivation, give yourself small rewards for hitting milestones of making accomplishments. This positive reinforcement can incentivize you to keep moving forward and building your self-discipline. The last piece of advice I can give you is to forgive yourself for small missteps in your plan. No one can be incredibly driven and motivated every single day. So, give yourself permission to have some off days. Your work will still contribute to future success, and taking breaks is healthy.

-       Bria