Security

    Security is a topic with which I am quite familiar.  The first example of security that entered my mind was a mental picture of my grandson, Justin, having a pacifier in his mouth and one in each hand as he traveled anywhere.  Our friends who lived in the same apartment complex with Justin and his mother while J.T. was away in Desert Storm said it was the perfect picture of having security backup!  I remember when Michelle said later that the day came when Justin threw the pacifier away.  My first reaction was Did he really do that, or did he count on having his backups nearby?

    My first graders readily share with one another during “Show and Tell” time.  This is an opportunity for them to speak in front of an audience and to use their vocabulary in describing a special object.  Almost all of them have taken the opportunity to show us their “security” stuffed toy which sleeps with them at night.  Many of them, likewise, share a traumatic memory when they “lost” their favorite stuffed toy.  For Justin, it was his teddy bear, Radar.  Many parents went to great lengths to recover that special security sleeping partner.  Almost weekly we have parents coming back to school to recover their preschooler’s security blanket which he/she used during naptime.

    For the females of the population, security is basic need number one.  It is not so high upon the list of the males.  Thus, while our little girls are busy establishing “girls’ clubs” and “BFFs” during their recess times, little boys are just as busy playing “king of the mountain!”  Nevertheless, all people need some form of security to have peace in their minds.

    As a school superintendent, it gave me a feeling of security when I figured out everything that could possibly go wrong on a field trip, etc. and had plans in place for any and all emergencies.  While it gave me security to know I was prepared, it made my family think I was just a pessimist.  My school was located on the edge of the city, surrounded by farms and a cemetery.  Security was most important to me as I entered and opened the school before daybreak, and often left after nightfall.  Perhaps my own need for security was heightened when our school was robbed three times during my first year there.  I went right to work getting my Board to help increase security.

    Today, all of us in the field of education are concerned about terrorist shootings.  We have taken a lot of our educational funds and converted them to “security” measures, equipment, and training.  It is a shame that this has become the norm.  

    Security of mind is another kind of emotional state.  This type of security allows us to sleep peacefully at night.  It allows us to look forward to the day ahead of us each morning.  This security comes when we are well prepared and competent in our chosen work.  Luck may play a part in daily happenings, but competence provides us with a sustaining sense of security.  That sense comes also with a requirement of keeping abreast of new developments, research, etc.  When I am aware and abreast of the new research findings, my staff feels secure that we will get the job done in an efficient and noteworthy manner.  My security helps them to feel more at ease with new requirements, ideas, and productivity.

    Last of all, but most important, when I am secure in my relationship with God, I “can do all things in Christ who strengthens me.”  This has been the secret of my life since I adopted it from the Bible at sixteen years of age.  As I near seventy-six years, I am more aware of a new situation I am going to face…death.  How wonderful it is to have faith in the Bible which assures me of the security my soul has in this unknown future.  Although many people have determined to destroy the Bible and its contents, I am happy to say they have failed miserably.  Because of its teachings and assurances, I now have security in even life’s last adventure…death.     

-        Kay

When I think of the word “security,” it prompts a lot of concepts in my mind. Financial security, job security, relationship security, security of one’s self. All of these are important regarding leadership. As the head of a team or a company, you must provide a certain level of security to those who work under you. If you are not able to provide this security, then your employees are more likely to leave or look for other work. When you as a leader are secure, you have more of an ability to provide that same sense of security and stability to those around you. 

We have talked about various personality traits that are important for leaders to possess. I think one of the most important things a leader can be is secure in one’s self. In my opinion, an insecure leader cannot effectively inspire and motivate employees. Security translates to confidence. A confident leader is a more decisive leader. When employees witness a confident leader making solid decisions and standing behind his or her own choices, that will provide security and inspire passion and confidence in their own work. 

As a leader, you will often be asked to make financial decisions regarding your company. This might come in the form of approving annual budgets, making emergency spending allocations, or deciding amounts for charitable giving and corporate social responsibility efforts. It is crucial that you contribute to the financial security of the company rather than jeopardize it. This not only will positively affect you, but everyone that works for the company. Making thoughtful, rational decisions regarding finances will give your company the financial security that it needs to be successful. 

Finally, leaders must be secure in their relationships. Often times as a leader, you are the one that is maintaining major relationships with investors, partners, and clients. Confidence and security in these relationships will translate to a deep trust that will be ultimately beneficial for your company as well as yourself. All in all, security is incredibly important for good leadership. It is pervasive into every area of your work and it is easy to notice when a leader lacks security. One way to start working on your own security is to work on your self-esteem. To have others believe in you, you must first believe in yourself.

-        Bria

   Did you have a security blanket as a child? I honestly cannot recall having one. My own children each had a favorite stuffed animal or doll, the loss of which caused much searching and crying. I remember that my son always had three pacifiers: one in his mouth and one in each hand! Be prepared, right?!

    Nowadays we put security sweaters on our nervous dogs, and weighted blankets promise a more secure night’s sleep. Why is security so marketable?

    I believe it’s because we are inundated with reasons to feel insecure. From twelve-hour day care needs to threats of pandemics, the day holds little security for most people. My eighth graders are currently reading The Diary of Anne Frank, in which Anne writes one of my favorite literary lines. She speaks of those who are religious having a gift. I agree wholeheartedly. Knowing that my security lies in Christ has been a major blessing. I have a guide who works twenty-four/seven to keep me on track. I don’t know how I would navigate life without Him!

    With so much bad news and so many “trollers” online, how is a person ever supposed to feel secure? Yet, security is one of the indispensable qualities of a leader. 

   In the late 60’s, Thomas A. Harris taught us I’m Okay, You’re Okay.  By the 90’s, it became I’m Okay. You?  Not so much.  Now, the teens I meet seem to be saying Literally everybody I know is more okay than me.  It’s frightening how much negative self-talk there is out there.    So, the first step to security is the belief that you are exactly as you were intended to be.  That idea is emerging.  Clothing ads are showing plus size models. Hair shampoo ads point out that all types of hair are beautiful.  And tolerance for all lifestyle and gender choices is growing.  

    But one would be a fool to think that leaders would not be scrutinized and “trolled” by those who oppose them.  Security has to come from within, not without.  I tell my kids all the time that they cannot hurt me with taunts about my size.  I am accountable only to myself and my Lord for how I treat my body.  No, I’m not happy with my size right now, but their disappointment in me doesn’t affect me one bit.  It’s a decision.... A decision not to give people that kind of power in one’s life.  

    I can remember having to apologize for some attributes of our school in the beginning.  Sorry, we aren’t big enough to be able to keep from combining some classes.  Sorry, we can’t afford that.   I am happy to report that we have only one thing for which I will apologize right now, and that’s that we haven’t built our new secondary school yet when the need is arising so quickly.  We’re about to, though, so it’s a short-lived apology.  In everything else about our school, I am secure.  We are doing exactly what we said we would do, and we are doing it well.  Some parents come in and try to change our mission.  We have to gently remind them what we offer and suggest that they move to a school that wants to offer those things.  We have our goals and are fulfilling them just fine.

    We want your gifted child/teen to seek positions of leadership.  When he does, I suggest that you have him write down his goals for his time of leadership. (I am using the King’s English “he,” but I certainly mean “she” as well!)  Post them somewhere he can see them at all times.  When he gets discouraged that people are griping about things he has not done, ask him to look for those things in his list of goals.  If he does not see them there, remind him that he never intended to do those things, so he has not failed.  If he is meeting his goals, he has done his job.  Leading is not “people-pleasing.”  It’s doing what is right for one’s constituents.  Once he decides what is “right,” he needs only act on that decision.  

     At the conclusion of the leadership position, have your child/teen take that list down and put a check mark by each goal accomplished.  Discuss ways to fulfill all of them (or not to shoot for so many) and declare that time of leadership a success for all he has accomplished.  If you do this, your child will gain security in his decisions and in himself.  

-        Michelle

Responsibility

Responsibility might be the most important leadership quality on this list. Think about how leaders are distinguished in school. Generally, it is the child who is responsible that is said to have leadership skills. Responsibility does not make someone a leader, but a person cannot be a good leader unless that person is responsible. 

If you think about the role of a leader, there is a lot of inherent responsibility demanded by the job description. A leader is responsible for the decisions of the employees that work under him. This doesn’t apply to every decision. If an employee decides to speak disrespectfully to a vendor, that individual could see repercussions, but that wouldn’t necessarily apply to the boss. However, employees who are able to make major decisions in the company can put the leaders at risk as well if they make a bad decision that can make a big impact on the company. Good leaders will share this responsibility rather than throwing the employee under the bus. Even if the leader does not willingly take on blame for instances like these, a portion of the responsibility will fall on him for not knowing what is going on beneath him in the company. 

Beyond being responsible for employee actions is not the only thing for which leaders must be responsible. A leader must also be responsible for his or her own actions. As a leader, you are constantly in the spotlight. Everything that you do will go through scrutiny by your employees, your peers, your board, your customers, etc. This means that every action you make needs to be thought through. Rash and impulsive decisions can lead to distrust from your stakeholders. At the end of the day, a leader must be responsible for the choices he makes and will be held accountable for bad decisions. 

Lastly, a leader is responsible for his or her work. As a leader climbs the corporate ladder, there is increased expectation about the level and quality of work that that individual will produce. When you are the leader, you cannot give a project less than 100% of your effort. If you find yourself in a situation in which you know that you will not finish everything that is expected of you, it is better to delegate a portion of the work to a trusted employee than to turn in less than satisfactory work. Leadership comes with expectations of greatness, and you have a responsibility to uphold these expectations. 

As your children start the journey towards leadership, make sure you are holding them accountable. Responsibility is one of the most important lessons that you can teach a child in his or her formative years. If a child can hone this skill in his youth, he can continue to improve and become more responsible as an adult. 

-          Bria

Responsibility is a word that I must use at least fifty times a week around our school as I deal with students.  This is such an important part of life and relationships among people that I cannot ignore teaching this concept.  

    One of the first lessons new students to our school must learn is this: “With freedom comes responsibility.”  Our school is so unusual, students are overwhelmed the first few days as they see all the freedoms they are allowed. However, they soon learn that we do hold them responsible for taking care of games, technology, and observing rules of behavior.  Yes, they have recesses (even secondary school) and many choices in their electives.  However, misuse of either of these and or the equipment etc. provided for them results in a loss of the privileges.

    The preschoolers also learn that coming to school means they are responsible for putting their coats and backpacks in the proper cubby and their folders in the return box.  One of our previous teachers began the practice of mounting photos of the toys placed in each shelf so children could match where each one belonged after play.  Oh yes, there are those who stand helplessly while the parent does everything for them.  We explain what expectations we have and how the students are able to do these simple acts of responsibility.  We also explain how gifted children are masters at letting the parent do all of the “grunt” work for them.  I am proud to say the students in our preschool are usually very responsible.

    I once read that you can tell who the school principal is because he/she is the one whose desk is stacked with piles of papers etc. but he/she never walks down the hall and ignores a piece of trash, litter, etc.  He always stops and picks it up!  Not so for children!  The first words out of their mouths when asked to pick up a piece of litter is, “It’s not mine!”

    I have told teachers that it is important to have the classroom area clean so that students will keep it that way.  If it starts messy and littered, the students feel another piece of trash on the floor will not matter.  Needless to say, I have to constantly remind students that a tidy room is important for everyone’s benefit.  “Tuck chairs under the tables when they leave in case of a fire,” is one of my mantras.  This act of responsibility came to me because as a child in St. Louis public schools, I was among thousands of students who were made to watch the sad slides of firemen carrying the bodies of about 20 children killed in a school fire when the first child tripped over something and the rest of the students fell over her body and all were burned to death.  The firemen made a believer out of me!

    Our school lunch line was taking an enormous amount of time to get the serving done because many students couldn’t name the food they wanted on their plates.  I’m not talking about primary students.  I’m talking about students in second through fifth grades.  It seems their parents must choose everything for them, or they eat out so often they only know brand name foods or specialty order meals by number.  Mrs. Saintcross and I have insisted that students learn the names of food and tell us what they want.  (Yes, I’m talking about names like potatoes, carrots, green beans, peaches and oranges.)  Believe it or not, they’ve met our challenge and we cut serving time in half...leaving much more time for lunch free time.

The hardest act of responsibility which I have to teach students is being willing to accept responsibility when we commit a wrongful act.  I have always had a few students who would rather choke than admit they have done anything wrong.  Often times, I have a double task because some parents excuse rather than correct their child.  Those students whose parents almost always made excuses for their child’s lack of responsibility usually found life difficult in their later years.  I have the images of many of these students written in my mind.  It’s not that I desire to remember them, it’s that many of them faced consequences which ranged from lonely lives to jail and death.  It’s because of them that I take the word RESPONSIBILITY very seriously.  It will always be a major part of my teaching career.   

-           Kay

     I wrote that I lost my mind on New Year’s Eve when I made my husband take me  to the pound to get a puppy.  Two months later, I’m still pretty sure I lost my mind!  The responsibility of raising a puppy when my husband and I are nearing sixty is overwhelming at times.  There are moments I remember stepping out of the shower onto bath rugs… those are gone.  I remember not having to reach up on top of the cabinet for the toilet paper roll. I remember falling into my comfortable place on the sofa, spreading out my papers to grade, and perching my Diet Coke on the side table for easy access.  Not a chance of ANY of that happening again!

     But in between all the times of change and being her favorite chew toy, there are times when our puppy is the sweetest creature to ever live.  Those big, beautiful gray eyes beam, and that tongue begins licking to let me know that she has really, really missed me, and I know that she is going to be a huge part of our lives.

     It used to be so easy to have a dog.  Dogs stayed out back, and you played with them when you chose to go outside.  Now, dogs live in the house, ride in the car, get their teeth cleaned, and have sitters!  Did dogs change?  I don’t think so.  I think our ideas about dogs have. 

    If ideas about raising dogs have changed, you know ideas about raising kids have! Most parents I meet are still raising their kids in traditional ways.  The changes have been much more subtle.  Kids are having major medical issues due to the preservatives, dyes, and hormones/antibiotics in our food supply.  Teens have less hope for a future greater than their parents had.  And kids are pacified and silenced with this year’s number one toy:  the phone (some parents, too!). 

    As pet parents are taking more and more responsibility for their “fur babies,” many human-parents are taken less and less.  Traditional responsibilities like making dinner and having conversations about the day, spending quality time together, and reading with and teaching ideas to, have been replaced with “educational videos,” non-stop lessons and sports, and food in the car.  I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know, though.

   The area of responsibility I’d like to address is the shifting of responsibility I’m seeing more and more from parents.  It kills me for how many I am the Bogeyman!  “If you don’t do this, I’m going to tell Mrs. Smith.”  Noooo… not Mrs. Smith!  Mrs. Smith actually follows through with consequences.  I can’t give Mrs. Smith the puppy dog eyes and weasel my way out of trouble.  Mrs. Smith won’t change her mind just because I ask her to.  And Mrs. Smith remembers what I did last time and holds me responsible even more if I do it again. Noooo!!!!

    Yes, I am consistent.  My kids meet high standards because I hold them to high standards.  I want parents who do the same, and for the most part, our school’s parents do.  There are always those few, though.  You know, the one whose child is punished, and then, when the child begins working on his/her sympathies, has the child write me and see if I’ll change my mind.  That parent knows I won’t, but if he/she lets the child write and I still say “no,” I’m the bad guy instead of him/her.   

   Here’s what we teachers believe are the responsibilities of our parents here at LAAS:

·         Accountability – Because this is a private school and costs extra, we expect the kids to work as if school is a job.  If the child is not working accordingly, we expect the parents to hold the child accountable.

·         Protection – Our kids are seeing some of the worst things ever on their tablets and phones.  There are plenty of tools out there that allow the parents to see what the child sees.  In some cases, being Big Brother is warranted.

·         Awareness – We communicate through Monday folders, weekly announcements, a newsletter, Facebook, Remind, Instagram, conferences, and emails.  Yet, I still have parents who have the nerve to say to me, “I didn’t know a thing about it.”  Not for our lack of trying.

·         Consequences and Follow-through – We expect parents to set conditions for behavior and performance, and we expect that consequences are in place for times when those conditions are not met. Nothing is less effective than a parent who does not follow through on said consequences.

And most importantly:

·         Teaching responsibility to one’s kids – I see many parents accept blame for their kids’ shortcomings.  Quite frankly, I don’t know what productivity comes out of assigning blame.  Instead, we should teach our kids to accept responsibility for their actions – both the successes and the failures – and to grow from it.

   Kids taught to be responsible grow up to be responsible adults, and we all win when adults are responsible!

-          Michelle

Relationships

    We have come to the leadership trait that keeps the most gifted people from becoming leaders: relationships. Relationships are hard and messy and complicated and individually-tailored. Many gifted people have had so many relationships go bad by the time they are adults that they decide they don’t like people and retreat to a job that limits interaction. This is a real problem because our problem-solvers are hiding.

     I understand the feeling. My students talked of having a party at the local children and teens’ amusement center. I balked… loudly, and I believe a direct quote was There are children there, and I don’t like children. The kids all gasped until I went on to explain that I like the children of whom I am the principal because they behave, but children with their over-indulgent parents at those types of places are awful. They agreed.

     Relationships are hard. Just when things are going swimmingly, one party says or does something that threatens everything the two have. Our nation’s divorce rate is proof that relationships are hard. Herein lies the key to relationships, though. It’s a decision. Every couple considers divorce… multiple times. The couples who stay together are the ones who have decided that divorce is not the answer. (I’m speaking of healthy relationships… not ones with abuse or worse included, of course. There are factors involved in these situations that a decision will not solve.)

      It is important that we not allow our gifted kids to run away from conflict in relationships. This means we must not get them moved from the classes with the difficult teachers. Instead, we must teach them coping mechanisms. We must not pull them from the teams on which “their talents are not being recognized.” Instead, we should teach them to strive to be recognized, even if the best player is really, really good. We must not solve their issues with other students. Instead, we need to teach them to speak well to adults so that they can address adults when needs arise.

      We tell our gifted kids that they have an obligation to lead. It’s not a choice; they’ve been given much, and much should be expected. They don’t have to run for President, but they can certainly lead a team within a business. And with that leadership is going to come relationships. Some will be trying, but very few people are all bad or all good. Finding the good in people is just one more problem to solve, and it’s well worth it!

- Michelle

Valentine’s Day week is a great week to talk about relationships. As you know, relationships are very important in your personal life. You need your loved ones for support and guidance as you grow. Relationships are also vital to business. They can make or break a company, a partnership, or a career. Relationships allow breathing room and grace. In the case of a mistake, a relationship can completely change the reaction from the other party.

Relationships with employees can boost employee morale and build a sense of dedication amongst your staff. I believe it is really important for leaders to build relationships with everyone that works for them. This fosters dedication, and makes the leader seem more trustworthy to their employees. When employees feel like they have a personal relationship with their superior, they are more willing to work through conflict rather than just leave. Building relationships with your employees establishes a mutual trust that can be beneficial for you in several challenging situations.

If you work in an industry that has clientele or partners, relationships with those individuals are also incredibly important. Relationships with corporate partners can help make difficult decisions easier. Additionally, these relationships build trust that can lead to further cooperation or funding from these other companies. In the case of clientele, relationships can keep those clients from looking to your competition for better prices or cheaper delivery of product. The relationships you have with your clients can be incredibly lucrative, especially when considering referral work. Even if you feel you have nothing to gain from maintaining strong relationships with your clients and partners, these people are on your team and someday you might need something from them. It's good practice to maintain positive relationships with everyone with whom you work.

- Bria

Positive relationships with your colleagues, coworkers, and partners can help advance your career. Business is all about connections and relationships. The earlier you learn to capitalize on these relationships the better. Building and maintaining strong, positive relationships with those with which you work will strongly benefit you in all future endeavors.

Relationships can be more than a direct interaction between two people.  In fact, it is often found that relationships within an organization can be graphed to reveal an intricate pattern that has formed among and between individuals and/or groups within that organization.  Recently, my husband wrote a statement to answer the question, “What makes a successful school?” I liked his thoughts so much that I asked permission to use them in this blog.

“So, what does it take to have a successful school?  Yes, great expectations are certainly a part of it, but there is more.  First, and foremost perhaps, a school must have students who are motivated and eager to learn (not to mention having the mental capacity to learn. and we like to pretend that everyone does).  Beyond an eager, motivated, and capable student body, a school needs parental support and not just for an athletic program (perhaps no support for an athletic program – but that would probably be asking too much).  Next, there must be a dedicated faculty willing to put in more than just thirty or thirty-five hours of classroom teaching [each week] – they must be willing to dedicate many hours both to academic and character development among their students.  Finally, there must be an administration of some sort that makes sure funds are spent on the students and the education process. The educational philosophy of the administration must encompass all of the things that have been addressed above. Their integrity and dedication must be “sold out” to this philosophy.

When all of these things are present, learning will occur and people will notice that there’s something different going on in that school.  Notice, I did not say great students, great parents, great faculty or great administration. I used different adjectives like motivated, engaged, excited and dedicated.  I also described each of these having an element of integrity, although I did not use the word for each of the groups. This combination of ingredients will result in successful students.”   Jim D. Johnson

Now, to me, that “combination of ingredients” is another phrase for relationships!  Some of our nation’s leaders said, “It takes a village to raise a child.” Again, that means there are relationships among and between groups of people which bring about success.  

One of the reasons Jim has been thinking so much about this is that he is about to do an accreditation review with a school whose sole mission is to equip autistic students with the ability to enter and perform successfully in a regular school setting.  This is an amazing mission for this school to have. These students will have to develop basic skills of relating with others in traditional ways necessary to thrive in a regular school setting. I believe they will, more than any school I’ve ever known, have to establish and build upon relationships developed with each individual child.  What a calling this educator and her board have undertaken. Hats off to them, and my prayers go with them. Kay

Problem-Solving

Problem solving is a skill that everyone needs, not just leaders. It can help you find your way out of difficult situations, and it can help you create solutions that maximize productivity and efficiency. Without problem solving skills, you will face many challenges and roadblocks in your life. Being able to solve problems allows someone to deal with these issues as they arise and move beyond problems.  

Generally speaking, problem solving occurs in four stages. First you identify the problem that has arisen. Second, you brainstorm solutions to this problem. Third, you choose the best solution or strategy. Then the final step is to actually implement that solution. Steps one and two are fairly easy, but steps three and four take more skill and discernment to make the right decision. Being able to take a step back and look at the situation from multiple angles is very valuable. If you have time to think before you have to react, it is important to play out multiple scenarios in your head for solving the problem. This gives you the opportunity to pick the solution that you believe to be best based on informed decision making. The last step of implementing the solution is the most important part. As a leader, implementing a good solution to a problem can build your own credibility and trust amongst your employees. 

Problem solving is also a skill that can help you get hired. More and more employers are rewarding resumes that showcase instances of effective problem solving. For instance, you could mention that in a previous role you reduced operating costs. A better way to describe that scenario would be if you reduced operating costs by 30% by introducing a new system that cut production time in half. Similarly, rather than saying that you increased sales, you could say that you increased by identifying a new target audience for the company’s product. Showcasing problem solving abilities on your resume shows potential future employers not only that you can problem solve, but also that you are innovative and creative, and you take initiative. 

Problem solving is a skill that not everyone has. If you are not good at problem-solving you should try to hone this skill. You can do so by playing challenge games like Sudoku. You can try to do more brainstorming activities. Additionally, you can try to approach situations with more of a “what if” mindset. This will cause you to start thinking through options and different approaches to challenges. All of this will help you become a better problem solver which will greatly help you throughout your life personally and in your career. 

                                                                                                -Bria

When I told my husband the subject today for our blog was problem solving, he said, “We all know that blogs can’t solve problems.”  I thought he said, “Blondes” rather than blogs.  After I disagreed, we realized I had misheard his comment and I began to solve the problem of why I jumped to the “blonde” conclusion.  So, I began to problem solve.

    Some of the reasons I made the wrong assumption included my son’s sending me his copy of “The 500 best blonde jokes ever” newspaper article when he was a student at Arizona State University.  Another reason is that I’m referred to as the “Technodinosaur” of Lawton Academy because I refuse to give up on any computer that still has a spark of life within its metal walls.  I also prefer to teach with excellent software from the past which has not made the “thousands of updates” grade of the present.

    Yet, this stubborn preference for antiquities has required me to do a lot of problem solving!  In fact, just yesterday I was able to figure out and perform a magnificent solution to the need for a resurrection of some of my math software.  I finally figured out how to load CLASSIC on my rather new computer which now makes it possible to teach my students (even first graders) how to understand and use the properties of probability thinking.  Battle won!!!

    Yes, my stubbornness (Did I mention I was born in Missouri?) has caused me to spend endless hours on weekends and nights at the school problem solving. But when I do score a hit, I have such a deep sense of satisfaction knowing I accomplished the objective…and I did it my way! (Sorry about that Frank Sinatra.)

    I do teach problem solving to my students in all grades.  In fact, we have made creative competitions part of our Team competitions in the elementary school.  My teachers are always amazed to see how little practice our students have had in setting up a problem solution…due to (in part) video gaming, etc… in which the actual problem solving was already done before the games hit the market.  Besides, it is easy to hit the stop button and start over when a player doesn’t like the way the challenge is going.  Unfortunately, real life problem solving isn’t that easy to do.  Often, the results may not be clear for years to come.

    Besides gaming to teach problem solving skills, art is another great avenue for developing the ability to problem solve.  Many times, some of the best loved art projects were the result of an awful mistake which, when transformed by problem solving, turned into a lovely piece of art.  I then show students that such a “wonderful” mistake turned into such a “beautiful result” usually cannot be duplicated…no matter how hard one tries.

    My recommendations for parents to help develop these problem-solving skills in their children include the following.  Teach them at a young age (five or six) the correct way to play checkers and chess.  They may not handle a full game with you but guiding them as you play and explaining why you made certain moves will help their brains to internalize these patterns as their own future strategies.  A few other fun games for this purpose include Pick Up Sticks, Jenga, Chinese Checkers, Dominoes, Uno, Pattern Matching, Suspend, Q-bitz, Booby Trap, Trapture, Stormy Seas, and card games like Sets.  

-       Kay

    I don’t think potential leaders realize how much of leadership is problem-solving. We watch our idols make problems and their PR agents solve them, but our idols aren’t necessarily leaders. Most are entertainers.  Our leaders, on the other hand, are those to whom we look to solve our problems. 

   I have a dual role at my school: I’m a teacher and a principal. I am good at “principal-ing,” but I prefer the problem-solving involved with scheduling events and activities or building a new program as opposed to the problem-solving of disputes and behavior issues. I heard a teacher once say, “Don’t come to me with your problem; come to me with your idea for what you’re going to do about it.” Brilliant! I have borrowed that phrase many times.

    Often as the leader I do have to get involved, though, in the problem-solving process of two disputing youth because I have one thing neither of them possess: authority. Somebody has to be able to enforce the solution.

   Your gifted child might find himself accused of speaking “with an authority he doesn’t have.” This is likely true for two reasons: gifted children truly are problem-solvers, and because they’re gifted, they’re always pretty sure they’re the smartest in the room. It’s tricky teaching a gifted kid to problem-solve without getting above his raising! Oftentimes, gifted kids will be shut down before they even get the idea out because of the way they are saying it. This causes the gifted child to feel that he must push his ideas on people to be heard, thereby making people even less receptive to his ideas. No wonder so many gifted become cynical that anything can truly be fixed!

   Here’s how you help your budding problem-solver: teach him the correct time and way to present his ideas. Show him how people are more likely to listen to people complimenting them than to someone insulting their intelligence because they won’t accept whatever he says as gospel truth. 

    “You’re on the right track. I like how you’re thinking. What if we added (insert idea here)?”

   Show your gifted teen how to make suggestions without suggesting that the one listening is an idiot. Teach him how to let it go when someone does not accept his opinion. Then show him how to be gracious if his idea was right when inside he is really doing the “I told you so” dance!

    Finally, have him record the times people have followed his advice and emerged victorious. This will strengthen his belief in himself, but it will also remind him that problems are solved one situation at a time. The problem may be tough, but the people having the problem are just needing some help from someone with authority. By asking your offspring to help, that person is giving him authority. Authority is a powerful tool in the right hands. Do all you can to make sure your child doesn’t let that authority go to his head, and you will be creating a leader worthy of a following.

-       Michelle 

Positive Attitude

Positivity is a super-power. Your attitude can affect everyone around you. If you are in a bad mood, that can make those around you apprehensive to engage with you. A positive attitude makes you approachable and can put those around you in a better mood as well. When translated into a work setting, attitude is incredibly important in creating a positive and healthy work culture. 

As a leader, positive attitude is crucial. Your employees will look to you to set the tone in response to major events and occurrences at work. When there is a setback, your reaction will largely shape the mood of the entire staff. If you are positive and optimistic, this will reassure your employees that the company will bounce back from the setback. If you do not display this positive attitude during troubling times it can set off unrest within your employees that could have a rippling effect impacting other areas of business and internal relationships. 

Positive attitude is crucial to good leadership, but so many of our future leaders lack this trait. If you look at our younger generations, Millennials and Generation Z are characterized by depression, anxiety, and dark humor as a coping mechanism. I have seen this type of person in a leadership position, and it does not go well. This attitude seeps into the rest of the staff and is internalized and manifested into other areas of work. If your boss openly criticizes the company, its partners, and its output, this opens the door for the staff to criticize these things as well. The result of that is not positive or productive. 

Our younger generations have pulled back the veil on mental illness, depression, and anxiety. This is healthy for de-stigmatizing therapy and other coping mechanisms. However, we have lost the idea that you need to put on a brave face for work. I don’t mean that 100% of the time you have to be the cheeriest person in the office, but I do believe that an effort should be made to be at the least, neutral for the majority of the time spent in the office. When we allow our emotions to enter our work, we make reckless decisions and act based on our feelings rather than reality. This is something that is incredibly hard to overcome. 

So how do we help these young people? Well, unfortunately for Millennials, we are adults now that need to figure this out on our own. But Gen Z and Gen Alpha (7 years and younger) can still be helped. If you notice that your child is struggling with depression, do not hesitate to take him to therapy and get him the help he needs. This is the time of his life where he can go through these emotions in a safe environment without any major effects to his career trajectory. Let him work through these emotions with a trained professional while he is still developing his personality.

Childhood is a safe time for major changes in attitude and outlook. Take this time while they are still in your house to help them conquer some of what is bothering them. If you are a parent of a child who is not experiencing these emotions, foster his positivity. Educate him about how important it is to be positive in his career. Adolescence is a time in which we are developing our children; use that time wisely to help correct things like attitude problems before it affects their future development.

-          Bria

   This week’s leadership attribute is a given: positive attitude. If the leader isn’t positive, no one follows voluntarily. Oh sure, there are negative bosses out there, but very few follow a negative leader. A boss isn’t always a leader. The whole reason we follow a leader is to accomplish something. If the leader doesn’t believe we can do it, we’re not accomplishing anything.

    Negativity makes people uncomfortable. Nobody wants to hear all the reasons something won’t work. Oddly enough, people following positive leaders sometimes don’t necessarily believe the leaders can accomplish all they desire to, but they are willing to help try.  And the inability to accomplish everything is forgiven because at least they gave it the old college try!

    I ask my students at speech competitions to go watch their classmates perform. I tell them to send positive vibes up to the performer. It always works! The speakers always feel the support. It’s amazing the power we have with just positive thinking!

  Athletes are taught to visualize themselves successfully making free throws or field goals or penalty kicks, and psychologists say that visualization is nearly as helpful as actually practicing the skill.

    Gifted kids are naturally positive in elementary. They are excelling in classes and they’re feeling good. Gifted teens become very cynical and negative. This is because they cannot solve many of the problems they’d like to: global warming, litter, abortion, etc. Worse, they don’t think people even care. All of this jades the gifted youth.

    So how do you keep your gifted high schooler from becoming negative? You cannot completely. But you can help there be positive points in his life. The key is to take the time to point out what is good. Got a chronic complainer? Employ the pharmaceutical ads’ policy: for every good thing they say about the drug, they have to tell one bad side effect. Make your child tell a positive thing about whatever he’s being negative about.

    The most important thing you can do, though, is to be positive yourself. If you can’t think of anything positive, start with the fact that you woke up this morning!

              Michelle

    A positive attitude is a great leadership skill to have.  It is also one of the great teachings of Jesus Christ known as the Beatitudes from His sermon on the mount.  Happiness is the desire of most people, and these attitudes help a person to truly be happy.  Dr. Robert Schuller renamed these principles as the “Be-Happy Attitudes.” The other well-known example often cited by people is the little book, “The Little Engine That Could.”  

    Having a positive outlook can make others happy because it is very contagious.  Yet, even a good thing can be hurtful if overdone!  Sometimes, optimists can say the wrong thing at the wrong time.  When someone is really hurting, empathy is needed, not a pep talk.

    Here are Dr. Schuller’s ideas based upon Jesus’ Beatitudes.  

    1) “I need help – I can’t do it alone.” We can acknowledge our weakness and ask for help.

    2) “I’m really hurting – but I’m going to bounce back!” “Never look at what you have lost …Look at what you have left.”

    3) “I’m going to remain calm, cool, and corrected.”  This is possible if we remember the word used by Jesus: meek.  M –mighty; E – emotionally stable; E – educable; K – kind.  A good self-guide might be, “I’d rather change my mind…and succeed then have my own way…and fail.”

    4) “I really want to do the right thing.”  It is saying no to the negatives or doing less than our best.  It is saying yes to the good and healthy things.  As the Little engine said over and over, “I think I can!  I think I can!”

    5) “I’m going to treat others the way I want others to treat me.”  This teaching is also known as the Golden Rule.  “Give a little, you get a little back.  Give a lot, you get a lot back.  This is the law of proportionate return.”

    6) “I’ve got to let the faith flow through me.”  “In the presence of hope – faith is born.  In the presence of faith – love becomes a possibility!  In the presence of love – miracles happen!”

    7) “I’m going to be a bridge builder.”  “God loves you – and so do I” …a prescription for peacemaking.”  

    8) “I can choose to be happy – anyway!”  Dr. Smiley Blanton, psychiatrist, said to a client, “If only – that’s your problem!  You keep repeating those words, ‘If only I had…’  ‘If only I hadn’t…’  My prescription for you is to strike those words from your life!  Replace them with the words, ‘next time…’’ ‘next time things are going to be different.’”

    This rephrase of the Beatitudes is a great book to read.  It can really help people who are not naturally positive to think about their emotions and to do something about it.  If you would like to read more, the ISBN number is 0-8499-0363-7.         

-          Kay

Passion

   Passion is one of the strongest emotions a person can feel.  It not only moves people to accomplish great things, it can be exhausting at times!  As a person who has always been deeply embedded in the arts, I have had some musical or artistic moments in which I was so moved by the passion of the creator that I just cried.  Such deeply moving experiences are rare but when you experience such a thing, it remains in your memory forever!

    Leontyne Price was one of the most talented opera singers I’ve ever heard.  Her magnificent voice and her stage presence in La Traviata was my first experience in attending a performance by the Metropolitan Opera.  I couldn’t hold back the tears as she sang notes so high and sweet that I’ve never had any experience come as close to duplicating my emotional experience.

    I was also greatly moved by the Hall of the Crucifixion painting by Polish artist Jan Styka  at Forest Lawn Cemetery in California. My cousin had visited the cemetery and viewed the painting, which is 195 feet long by 45 feet tall, and brought me a tri-folded postcard of it.  The time, effort, and detail of this mammoth painting left me breathless.  Certainly it reveals the passion of Styka as he had to leave it behind in America, never to see it again.  (He brought it for the World’s Fair display.)

    The founder of Home Interiors, Mary Crowley, said to find something you liked to do with a passion so that you would do it for free and give it away until people are willing to pay you for it.  I’m not sure of the exact words, but she turned from being a poor single mother to one of the most successful business women of our country.  This formula for success along with her passionate belief in Jesus Christ made her a powerful force in the marketing industry.

    I hope that my passion for education is evident in my daily life.  I know that God had a plan for me to be a teacher and I have let Him guide me in this life of education since I was sixteen years old.  I cannot think of a day in my life that I did not actively think about education of children.  Thus, it is my hope that my passion will rub off on students and parents in such a way that they will develop a passion to achieve their dreams.  It Is, therefore, my duty to provide a variety of experiences to my students so they may taste what lies out in the vast world…and  once they’ve tasted it…perhaps they will develop their “passion” to pursue.

    I am taking a risk by even mentioning this next statement: I’ve always had an inner desire to paint “something” that moved me greatly.  Throughout my life, I have painted often, but never found that subject which drove a passion in me to create.  Recently, as a member of my church choir, I was greatly moved by the words of a song we sang.  It haunts my mind during the night, during the day, and nudges me to paint what it describes.  Will I do it?  I don’t know…but I am so moved by the words that a passion is growing within me.  Now that I’ve voiced it, it will be interesting to see if I accomplish that of which I dream.  

-          Kay

There are many characteristics that allow people to easily identify a good leader. Things like generosity positively affect the people with which you work, but passion is beneficial for those people as well as yourself. Passion is unique because it can make a good leader, but it can also make a good leader a better leader. 

Think about the worst job you have ever had. What was so bad about it? Maybe it was undesirable work, or something that did not contribute to your overall career goals, or maybe you did not like the company’s leadership. I believe the majority of the potential answers to that question can be lumped under one umbrella category-a lack of passion for your job. If you think about the opposite end of that question, it’s likely that the best job you ever had was something about which you were incredibly passionate. 

I believe that it is easier to work harder and push yourself if you feel passionate about the work you are doing. It feels good to do work that inspires you. If you are doing a job that does not make you feel passionate about your work, it is easy to fall into a monotonous cycle with your job. Leaders that are passionate about their work embody a lot of other characteristics of good leadership as a result of their passion. If you are a passionate leader you will exhibit commitment and initiative, as well as many other positive character traits. 

So how do you get to be a passionate leader? Well you probably won’t start out that way. You will need to take some time and work some jobs that are less fulfilling. But at the end of the journey, you can find a job about which you are truly passionate. This passion will push you to be self-motivated and dedicated and hard-working, and that will elevate you to become a great leader.                       

                                                          - Bria

   It’s the time of year when I conference with every family in our secondary school. Toward the conclusion of the conference, I ask the teen where he/she is headed in regard to profession. I look to see if it’s changed from last year, gotten more clear, or remained as much a mystery as the last time I asked. My most in-touch students already recognize about what they are passionate, and passion is one of the strongest determiners of success in leadership.

    I often describe passion this way: when one is passionate about a career, he can’t stop doing it. I am passionate about teaching. Literally every moment is a “teachable moment.”  I have to teach a Sunday school class rather than just belong to one because I’m that annoying member who can’t let a teaching point the actual teacher missed pass!

    Many say that students lack passion when it comes to the future. They use the spontaneity and short-sightedness of youth against them. I’d say adults have always done that to kids, and kids remain as passionate about what they love as ever. If you don’t believe me, watch a season of So You Think You Can Dance.

     Passion requires believing in something wholeheartedly. I think kids are still passionate about what they can and will do. Instead, their disillusion comes with “the establishment.” Again, this is not new to youth. I do believe there is a difference between the disillusionment we adults had with our government and the disillusionment they have. We always felt we could get in there and change things. I don’t believe our kids think they can do a thing to fix this! 

    Can they fix what ails schools? Our politics? Health care? The out-of-control tuition rates at colleges? Racism? It’s hard to see how they could.  We can’t even get our leaders not to bully; how are they supposed to fix that?!

    I can’t fix it either. My family saw the downward spiral of education, and we took our proverbial marbles elsewhere to play. We have a school that helps children achieve and feel good about themselves. We introduce real world problems and invite the kids to help solve them, all the while preparing them to deal with so-called “wicked” problems (those that will never be solved completely). 

    I see passionate kids every day. I see passionate millennials.  I am amazed at the way millennials have gone back to our roots.  They are growing their own food and raising farm animals in the city and learning to make objects by hand.  I love that so many are free-lancers.  How brave is that?! 

    This Valentine’s Day spend a little time figuring out about what your children are passionate.  I promise you that you will be proud of them!

-          Michelle

Listening

Listening is an important skill that cannot be taken for granted.  Most schools have posters mounted which remind students that it is a necessary skill. However, aside from the three or four suggestions like “look at the person who is speaking,” these posters do not “teach” the skill of listening.

    Listening is taught intentionally in the kindergarten and first grade almost universally.  A young child, in these primary years, is very self-centered as s/he views the world in relation to how s/he fits into it.  Following directions is the primary skill first taught.  Fire and storm drills with the proper procedures for taking shelter are the most important survival skills emphasized.  Reading and following directions for completing written work are then taught and practiced.

    As children grow older, the listening objectives change to those used for problem solving.  Gathering information, making inferences from auditory clues, and deciphering body language are other listening skills which need to be practiced for success.

    One area that has suffered much from the onslaught of video technology is the lack of “auditory experiences” in which children listen to stories being told or read to them.  So much visual information is presented to students that they actually have difficulty visualizing a scene or character from a reading…much less a situation.  These skills are very important.  I tell my young students that if they were not so, God would have given us only one ear!  In fact, we note almost on a daily basis, that we act as if God gave us one ear and two mouths!  

    Playing games in which children identify sounds is a good starting point.  We play Lotto games which use sound effects.  Another good game is to play “I Spy” using sounds instead of visual objects.  As children become aware of the myriad of sounds around them, they are better able to pay attention to details in their classwork.

    Learning how to “not listen” is another skill I teach my students.  Ignoring a friend’s whispering when classwork is to be done is very hard for first graders.  Likewise, I have to help students ignore the soundings made by beginning readers who MUST hear the sounds to decode words they are reading.  All of these skills are part of the affective domain of teaching.  I meet quite a few new teachers who have not learned the importance of these reading subskills.  It is my intent to strengthen these basic skills in any and all students who are in my classes.  The strong foundation of listening which I seek to give to them will prepare them better for leadership skills which will endear them to fellow workers and perhaps their own followers. 

-        Kay

  Ever heard the phrase:  God gave you two ears and one mouth.  Use them in that proportion.  I’ve said that phrase many times myself.  It’s ironic coming from a woman who got spanked at school for talking too much! 

      Good leaders absolutely must listen.  They must listen to the needs of their followers.  Nobody wants a leader who just conducts business as usual.  People want someone who takes the time to get to know them personally.  A leader who listens can learn from complaints and can stimulate involvement from those following because they feel valued.

      I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know, am I?  Let’s change the scenario a little and make the leader a parent, though.  Listening becomes a twenty-four/seven thing, doesn’t it?  My dad said that I was the only kid who could turn a half-day of kindergarten into a whole day of description! 

      We want our kids to talk to us.  We want them to feel that they can bring anything to us, no matter how mundane or silly they might think it is.  We do this so that they will talk to us when questionable ideas come up.  Unfortunately for many, all that listening doesn’t pay off.  When the teen years come, communication is cut off abruptly.   

     So, how do we cultivate an environment that values listening?  Here are some ideas I give my parents:

1)      Don’t demand communication immediately after school.  It’s okay for your teen to be quiet.  Most teens have been “on” all day (talking to teachers, talking to friends, talking to coaches, talking to counselors).  They’re just as worn out at the end of the day as you are from your day.  Let them ride home silently. 

2)     Have a designated sharing time.  For most, this is dinner.  Some families just can’t make dinner work, though.  For those families, I recommend a thirty-minute period right before the youngest (or oldest!) family member goes off to bed.  If you start this when they are children, the teens won’t buck this later.  (If you missed starting this till the teen years, it’s not going to work.  Sorry!) Sometimes you can just talk about tomorrow’s schedule.  Other conversation will naturally rise from this.

3)     Make a way for your teen to signal that he/she needs to talk.  I took my son to Sonic… just the two of us.  Waiting in the car for our treat made some time available.  After a while, he would ask to go to Sonic, and I would know something heavy was on his mind.  My daughter was a little easier because she and I talk about everything.  The one-child-only date can make time available for the teen who won’t speak about anything in front of the family.

4)     Truly listen to your child.  He is giving you clues to his thinking all the time. We adults are just really good at missing them.

5)     Consider corresponding in notes and letters with your child.  I’ve found that students will tell me about anything and everything if they are writing, where they won’t say a single bit of it to me verbally.  Even small notes can give large amounts of information… if you’re listening.

    There is one last key to successful listening:  action.  Listening always requires some kind of action.  That action might just be affirming the feelings, or it might involve making some major changes.  Nothing stops communication more rapidly, though, than getting a child to open up and then blowing off what they say as wrong or not important or silly.  All communication is important and useful. 

-        Michelle