Rewards and Recognition Count!

    Recognition and awards should be a recurring act for any group of people to really feel appreciated and valued.  Time is always set aside to address issues and concerns that a business or company may have.  Yet, recognition, awards, and thank you moments are often put off as a culminating activity such as graduation, promotion, or even retirement.  So many more positive feelings and relationships could be nurtured if we made more time for recognition and awards

    Such times of praise don’t need a lot of extra funds or borrowed time from the schedule.  I have always provided a short time for my students to do a “God bless you…” for their fellow students.  It only takes a few minutes per person, and thus can easily be done before class transition gets started.  A child blesses another person and shares with the class why they want to bless that student.  After receiving the blessing, that student blesses another student for a reason he/she shares with the class.  The delight on each child’s face speaks of the positive self-esteem boost he/she just received.  

    It seems that people are always willing to share frustrations, anger, impatience, etc. with those who bother them.  Yet, seldom do people share a thanks or a compliment with people they interact with each day.  I hate the commercial on TV where the wise advisor is teaching people how “not to become like their parents.”  The statement he makes that “you don’t need to know your waiter’s name!” really bothers me.  My husband and I have made many fine contacts with wait staff, and through that recognition, we have been able to share positive experiences, to guide them to solutions they have requested, and once in a while, to befriend a new resident in the area.

    One of my favorite books about schools was “The Third Side of the Desk.” (I believe that was the title.)  The author was able to really appreciate the educational process because she had experienced the desk as a student, a teacher, and then as a parent.  Because of the  various views of the process, she learned to appreciate each person in that trio.  We’ve just completed a week of Thanksgiving vacation in our school.  I love it because parents get to be with their children a whole week.  It is thus possible for them to see the types of interactions we have daily…both good and trying.  Of course, they must multiply those interactions by 18 to really see what a classroom of student interactions can be!  We usually get a lot of notes of appreciation after such a break!

    I am most happy to report that we have many fine people who show acts of kindness to our staff and to our students throughout the year.  Without them, such an education as LAAS offers wouldn’t be possible.  My family prays for God’s blessings on each of them daily.  Just writing this blog today refreshed my memory of more thanks I need to give to people around me.  Think of the possibilities we could awaken in this world if more time were given to such recognition to those around us.  

                                                                       Kay

We are coming up on a time of the year in which we reflect on what we are thankful for in our lives. It’s a time to look around us and see the blessings we experience every day. One thing we are not necessarily supposed to focus on is recognition for ourselves, but we can all agree it feels nice to be recognized. Whether you are hosting Thanksgiving or just bringing the Sam’s club pecan pie, it feels good when people acknowledge your efforts.

Recognition and rewards are especially important for children, but adults appreciate them, too. As a child grows up, he will be asked to do many things that he does not want to do. Going to the doctor’s office, attending school and working hard, or even just getting up and getting dressed in the morning, can feel like such a chore. It’s hard for kids to understand why it’s important to do these things. To them, it just seems like parents and teachers are trying to torture them. Before kids find their own motivation to be successful, they need something else to push them towards success.

As adults, there are really two main options for motivating children. Rewards or punishments. While punishments can be necessary in certain situations, using rewards can be a much more positive experience and can help train motivation with positive reinforcement. While we don’t encourage bribing or spoiling your child, rewards are a big part of our behavioral system at LAAS. Even in the upper end, groups work extra hard to have the most points at the end of the quarter so they get to have a free lunch together. In the lower end, kids compete to go to Braum’s. On an individual basis we have scholar dollars and credit score points that give students access to certain privileges. These are easy ways to get kids motivated to take on leadership positions, get involved in activities, and behave well. 

At home, things like a chore chart with associated benefits or rewards can work very well. We have seen success with parents who trade chores for screen time. You can do a lot of different things to reward good behavior. While it’s great to reward as training/motivating, it’s also important to recognize successful and positive traits. When your child does something great, give him the recognition he deserves. We don’t need to raise another generation that gets participation trophies, but when your child achieves something that took effort, recognize him.

There is a delicate balance between praising and rewarding your child and spoiling him. Many parents have crossed the line and have given their children too much power in the relationship. This is not healthy. But the other end of the spectrum where children do not get enough rewards or recognition is just as bad. You need to find a healthy amount of rewards and recognition to encourage growth and development of personal motivation.

-        Bria

     The idea that rewards and recognition count is such a no-brainer.  We all love rewards and recognition!  What makes the reminder necessary is that we all love to GET rewards and recognition.  We’re a little slow on the uptake at GIVING rewards and recognition.  Maybe we need to broaden our definition of “reward,” and it won’t slip our mind so often.  A simple “thank you” note, a coupon for a free ice cream cone, or a heartfelt hug can all be enough reward or recognition to make someone’s day.  There are so many people involved in making your day run smoothly.  The pandemic and the way it removed the services of some of those people has taught us that!  

     Gifted kids are hyper-focused on themselves.  It comes from wanting to be the best at everything, to solve every one of the world’s problems, and to be the first at everything.  Those gifted who aren’t like that have received so little reward and recognition for being that way that they have become the cynical versions of themselves.  It is important that we highly reward our gifted kids for their efforts because cynicism is just a slight move over for gifted, and very few recover from it.

     My students make fun of me because I have only two games on my phone:  the mom-game “Candy Crush” and “Yahtzee.”  I like that they take about three minutes to play a game.  When I actually decide to play, my break doesn’t last too long.  “Yahtzee” doesn’t use advertising, but “Candy Crush” offers rewards for watching commercials. The ads for these games have usually been aimed toward tech adults.  Increasingly, though, they are targeting a different audience - the gaming community who wins money for playing the games.  The ads are similar to games one would see in a casino at Las Vegas.  I can certainly see how a person would feel rewarded playing them.  

    It makes me wonder if people have not replaced human interaction with these games.  After all, there is a much higher chance of being rewarded and getting that great feeling of satisfaction.  Interactions with people bring unsolicited criticism, taskings, and negative discussions.  Games bring flashy graphics, sounds that indicate “winning,” and payouts.  They may be small, but they deliver… consistently.  Is it any wonder so many have chosen to lose themselves in these games?

    We know being a constant source of small rewards is an attractive trait.  Think back to someone in your life who always had something nice or encouraging to say to you.  Maybe it was a grandparent; maybe a coach or teacher.  This person understood the power of compliments.  The only place I believe I accomplish this is when I am walking through the youngest elementary halls at our school in “teacher” mode, not “principal” mode.  The kids flock to hug me, and I love giving them hugs.  All we say is “hi!” but it’s a “glad-to-see-you hi,” and the kids and I both leave feeling so much better about ourselves.  Why can’t I be like that all day?  The obvious answer is because I am also a principal, and principals have to discipline.  No one wants his principal to say, “Hi!,” give him a huge hug, and say, “You’re suspended for cheating!

    I am aware, though, that I need to be out and visible to my students more - at all grade levels - so that I can have more of the happy “hi!” moments.  Even a high schooler feels a small reward when an administrator addresses him without a tasking or a reprimand.  Imagine how kind greetings could spread if they were practiced by all, right from the top!

    We are entering the season of giving.  People are more friendly and generous this month than any month of the year.  As you go about your jolly way, I encourage you to take note of your feelings as you face each fellow-shopper and partier.  When you get rewarded with compliments and recognized for hard work this year, note how it was given and give some to someone else.  And in this moment of recognition, I would like to thank you, the reader, for joining us weekly to learn how to better help our gifted teens.  If you are one of the parents of our students, you are helping to make your child’s life better, and that makes my job more teacher than principal.  I thank you so much for that!

                                       Michelle

Innovation Counts!

    Goals get us where we want to go, but innovation keeps us there and advancing.  Our students had a hard time understanding what innovation is. Unfortunately, so do a lot of adults! Innovation requires always looking to do things better. Many people don’t want to fix what isn’t broken, but often that’s not the smart plan for most businesses. Of course, there are always the times it’s not.  I’m thinking specifically of the first time Coke tried to change its taste.  Businesses needing innovation provide technology or services.  Those will always have a need for “doing it better.”

   So, how does one innovate? That is the million-dollar question, isn’t it? Being an innovator takes practice. It takes not giving up when failure comes… because it will often. A true innovator never stops looking for the next best way to do or make something.

    My advice to the kids is to start now. If they can think of ways to get the teacher to want to grade their projects first, they are becoming innovative. Entering competitions for engineering or robotics or the such is also a way to cultivate innovation. 

    Gifted children are already natural innovators. Many learn young that innovation is not welcome, though. Whether it’s a parent worn out from listening to thousands of ideas or a teacher who dismisses innovative ideas and requires all students to complete projects the same way, many adults don’t have enough patience to raise an innovator. Besides that, innovators tend to take things apart. You can’t innovate until you understand how the original works!

   I would challenge you to take a look at what you don’t allow your kid to do. Is any part of this collection of activities actually a place where your child is innovating? Parents must be careful not to unintentionally squish innovation in our kids. You don’t have to treat every single project or action like it’s the cat’s meow, but you should be verbally rewarding your innovative child.

   Encouraging innovation is not enough, though.  You yourself need to model innovation, and you can easily involve the family.  We have one family that I have mentioned before. The parents give the kids a budget and a time frame.  All members of the family then research a destination to which they’d like the family to go.  Itineraries and costs are presented, and the family chooses.  What a great idea! Involving kids in some of the family procedures - say laundry decisions - is an excellent way to teach them that there is always a better way.  That’s innovation!

                                               -Michelle

Innovation is a concept that is extremely important, but also very hard to teach. It is a word that kids hear but do not really understand what it means. When you talk to a child about innovation, an easier way for them to digest that concept is to talk about big, creative, important ideas. At its core, innovation is an out-of-the-box idea that has the potential to bring about a big change. Innovation is the type of word that can easily go over the head of a child, but ideas are something with which children are very familiar. 

A big part of innovating is brainstorming. Kids are way better at brainstorming than adults because adults have different things holding them back. While an adult might have a game- changing, crazy idea that could really shake things up at his work, he might be fearful of voicing it because of how others might react. The fear of rejection or not being good enough can keep adults from pitching the kind of zany idea that might be just what that company needs. Kids on the other hand will say the crazy idea. They might even shout it. I’m not necessarily talking about teenagers; they have already felt rejection and embarrassment, unfortunately. But most little kids have not yet experienced this and are unafraid to say whatever wild thing pops into their heads. This is a superpower. 

If you ask kids about the major problems we face in society, they will give you some dumb answers. But if you keep listening, sometimes they can surprise you with how insightful they actually are. There is something to be said about not knowing the things that limit us.  If you approach a problem with the full history of what has been attempted to solve it, you will immediately write off those things as failures. In reality, some of those things could have worked with the right people or with some minor changes. When kids approach a problem, they don’t know all of the attempted solutions or other constraints like budget or bureaucracy. They can just speak on what they think would actually work. This is a good place to start brainstorming.  If you start by acknowledging all of the past failures, you are putting yourself in a headspace to assume that the problem cannot be fixed. 

I’m not saying that we should put elementary-aged children in charge of solving our world’s biggest problems, but I am saying that we can learn from them. We brainstorm to solve problems or come up with new ideas. If we went into a brainstorming session with a positive outlook and no fear of saying what we really think, it would be way more efficient. There would be a potential to actually get things done. Right now we are too afraid of being shot down, stepping on other people’s toes, or being told our ideas aren’t realistic. We need to learn from kids that sometimes the crazy idea is the one that might just work. Elon Musk famously said, “Good ideas are crazy, until they’re not.” Think what you will about him personally, but that is a man who has pitched some crazy ideas that have paid off in a major way for him. Today is your day to tell someone your crazy idea.

-        Bria

Innovation counts!  If it didn’t, we wouldn’t have such truisms as “Necessity is the mother of invention!”  People who are innovative are able to survive the mazes of life through their creativity.

    Just this week, I watched football with my husband and saw a college team that lost its coach for a reason I do not know.  I was told that many of the players left the college and the team to show their support of that coach.  I was amazed to see the remaining team members and their new coach use a very innovative approach to playing the number one team in the nation.  They did not give up or cry over what might have been.  Instead, they planned a strategy which left me breathless just watching them perform it.  I really am not sure that my own alma mater wouldn’t be beaten by the pace of that team’s play.  

    Too many people reach a puzzling situation and then just give up and admit defeat.  This is one reason we established Lawton Academy…to inspire our students and staff to think outside of the box!   Innovation and new ways of looking at life’s problems doesn’t come to a person easily.  Our brains must be trained to make connections, to find common elements, to look at a problem from many different angles, and then to ask ourselves: what would happen if….”

    I feel the pandemic we’ve experienced has caused many people to settle for whatever happens to come their way.  Depression and apathy have entered our society at alarming rates.  How happy I am that we added a new dimension to our Intermediate grades at LAAS.  Our new faculty member has begun “Genius Hour” with our fifth and sixth graders.  She truly understands that genius means someone who seeks knowledge.  Our students have been undertaking research into areas of their interest, compiling information for a presentation, and then demonstrating or presenting the knowledge they’ve gained to their classmates.  The level of enthusiasm has been wonderful.

    One of the blessings we have at Lawton Academy is that we own the school and therefore can make innovative changes without going through the hours and miles of red tape that bureaucratic schools must endure before seeing their innovations come to fruition.   Mrs. Smith took over scheduling, which was something I hated to do, having worn myself out in the public school during my 32 years there.  So, instead of me meeting the necessary needs to fulfill the law, or to place classes efficiently, she is able to do it with excitement and a flair of innovation.  Staff and students are then able to add to her innovations any improvements which they think might help make it better.  

    I have seen teachers who do the same bulletin boards the same way every year of their careers on the same day of the same month.  They also use the same tests year after year until it is a joke, as students foretell other students not only what is on the tests but the acceptable answers as well.  Thank goodness, I have not been stuck with such faculty members.  Just last night I was talking to a recently retired teacher who is about to start substituting in the local school system.  She knew from other substitutes that many teachers leave no lesson plans for their class while they are gone.  It is extremely difficult to keep order in many of those classes as a substitute.  However, this teacher has had many years of teaching experience, and she smiled as she told me, “I’ll just take my bag of tricks with me!”  At least she is preparing to be innovative in case she draws a class for which there are no instructions or lesson plans!  

-        Kay

Goals Count!

I talk about goals a lot in my pieces, so when I found out that the topic was goal related, I thought, “What could I possibly have left to say about goals?” To be honest, all week I had nothing. It wasn’t until the morning assembly with the elementary students on Friday morning that something came to me. That something came in the form of a very sweet pre-k boy. 

We were discussing goals, and at the end of the discussion, I called on about ten people to tell us a goal that they had set for themselves. I heard everything from, “I want to be the fastest person in the whole elementary school,” to, “I want to go to MIT.” There were some really great goals in the room. The one that struck me was not one of the goals mentioned in the assembly. It was a goal that a child brought to me as I was packing up to leave. He said, “Excuse me, I have a goal, too. My goal is that everyone will be kind to each other.” That kind of statement, when delivered with the purest of intentions from a pre-k student, just hits you in the deepest parts of your heart. All the other kids talked about goals that would bring personal success or fame, and all he wanted was for people to be nice. 

This goal really made me think. While other goals in the room had a ton of merit and ambition, they lacked the sincerity that this goal embodied. The other goals reflected what our society tells our children. You have to be the best, you have to want the best, and you have to be better than those around you. Because that is the type of messaging these children hear constantly, they all felt the need to produce goals that would make adults in the room say, “Wow!” I produced those responses for the child who wanted to get into Harvard, and the child that wanted to cure cancer, but the child that just wanted people to be kind stopped me in my tracks. Who is telling that child to want that? It’s certainly not society. We live in a system that does not reward kindness. It rewards aggression and competitiveness and stepping on others to get ahead. So where did he come up with this? I believe that came from teachings from his parents. 

Parents, think about the kind of messaging you are sending to your children. Is your child the type who wants to be the fastest/smartest/coolest/most powerful, or is your child the one who wants to be kind? It makes a difference. I think it is incredibly important to have goals for success. Without them, you can find yourself directionless. But when did we determine that goals had to either come at the expense of someone else or be so difficult that we will likely never meet them? 

The way our children look at goals is not realistic. It’s fine to have long-term goals, but it’s the short attainable goals that give us the strength to keep pushing on. For instance, if your elementary-aged child’s goal is to go to an Ivy League school, his more immediate goal should be to get straight A’s this year. Then he can have a goal to be inducted into the Honor Society in middle school. In high school, his goal might be to become a National Merit Scholar. Finally, senior year, his goal should be to graduate as Valedictorian. These incremental goals keep your child on track and help him to know that he is moving in the right direction. Without these steps along the way, he might lose sight of the overall goal. 

As parents, it’s your responsibility to help your child reach the “Go to Harvard,” goals, but also remember that it’s important for him to have “be kind” type goals as well. You can achieve great things in our world while still being a great person. The teachers in your child’s life will do all that they can to help your child be successful, but you are the one that is there from the beginning and with them as they grow. If you have read this whole thing and you don’t immediately know of a goal your child has set for himself, today is the day to ask. His answer might surprise you.

                                                                        -Bria

    Goals do count as we have written about them previously in this blog.  Goal setting is one of the many important aspects of leadership.  Since I have addressed this in that blog, I want to merely list some of the goals I have set for me to accomplish this year with my students and staff.

    1. I have set a goal to teach the basic phonics elements that make up the English language to my struggling intermediate students so that they may see themselves become efficient readers who learn to love reading.  I have been seeing improvement in their skills weekly.  Good for them accepting my challenge.

    2. I set a goal to help my struggling spellers, especially those who have dyslexia, to be able to pass their spelling tests weekly and retain what they have learned.  We reached this goal for the first time two weeks ago!  How exciting it was to see every student in that class able to pass their tests!  We were able to celebrate that accomplishment together!

    3. I set a goal to use our A.B.R.A.I.N. math curriculum (AMI – Academy for Math Intelligence) to make our students “smarter than the average bear” by teaching whole concepts which lead our 5th/6th grade students to an 8th grade level of math skills by year’s end.  They were as shocked as I was to see that none of the 50 states’ 8th grade students’ math proficiency average scores were even up to  50%.  This was published in the new Scholastic Atlas.  So far, our students are cooperative and eager to learn the skills.  

    4. I have set a goal to teach our students about music and art which has stood the test of time.  There are reasons that art and music masterpieces have earned that reputation.  When a culture no longer knows its history or reviews it, that culture will soon disappear.  We are already seeing school band programs dwindle down to a dozen students or so rather than scores of musicians.  There are fewer people learning to play music these days…preferring to just listen to paid entertainers.  Since we have research which shows a direct link between making music and increased scores in math and science, this music goal is even more needed than ever!

    5. I have set a goal to practice, model and teach basic manners to our students.  Our society has become very lax about “leaving a place clean like you found it” when they leave.  Putting others first is also a lost skill.  Perhaps it is still possible to overcome the “me first” attitude which seems so prevalent today.  And not least of all, applying the old saying, “if you can’t say something good, don’t say anything at all.”  Today, everyone seems to think they have the right to judge and criticize others with no boundaries of any kind.

    6. I hope to reach the goal of having all the “lost and found” coats, scarves, hats, gloves, shoes, socks, water bottles, and lunch boxes claimed by their owners daily.  Along with this, I have a goal that soon all students, teachers, and parents will start marking names in and on the items mentioned so that owners can be located quickly and reunited with said items!  That would be heaven to me!!      

                                                                                                        Kay

  Does anyone really need to be reminded that goals count? I doubt it. So, I’m going to speak specifically to gifted kids and goal setting. Gifted people like to stand out. We like to be praised for the “above-and-beyond” nature of our work. The problem is that we genuinely think we can accomplish at that level in all of our endeavors. You see the problem, right? I work a thousand hours a week, but I actually used to be worse! When I first started teaching, I wanted to show that I was the best teacher anyone anywhere had ever seen. I organized district-wide bike races, wrote and produced dinner theaters, at which my kids also cooked and served dinners, and made sure I was the most requested teacher at my school. It wasn’t till my pregnancy with Bria, when I had to back off for her and my health, that I realized that it takes very little to stand out as impressive! 

   The key is to know how much is enough. You as the parent need to be the voice of experience for your child. You need to remind him/her to “live.” They have all their lives to be busy all the time. They should enjoy the freedom of being young and not responsible for so much.

   If your child believes that he/she must be the most impressive student any college has ever seen, please correct him/her now. It doesn’t work that way. It is smarter to concentrate on what your child already does that is impressive, as opposed to trying to be impressive in every single area of life. 

   By definition, your gifted child is impressive. Polish his/her speaking, writing, leadership, and community service areas, and colleges will notice.

                         -Michelle

Ethics Count!

Something that I stress heavily in my senior capstone class is the importance of ethics. We look at this through the lens of business ethics. That’s a little different than personal ethics. But there are elements that ring true for both. When looking at a business ethics scenario, there are three main questions that need to be answered to determine if a situation is ethical or unethical. The first is, “Is the action illegal?” That feels pretty obvious, but it is a good place to start. Then we ask, “Is the action against company or professional standards?” That helps narrow it down a bit. Lastly, we ask, “Who is affected by the action and how?” This is where it gets interesting. 

We can look at the first two questions and pretty obviously know whether or not something is illegal or against company standards. If we don’t know off the top of our heads, a quick Google search or a skim through the employee handbook can provide you with a definitive answer. The tricky part is always question three. This part is harder because it causes you to think seriously about who could be affected by your actions. When I teach this concept in class, we go through several scenarios and look at these three questions to determine if the situation is unethical. It’s always interesting to see how the students answer question three. 

When you put your own ethical dilemmas through this formal, question three is the one that will make you see the situation for what it really is. Take, for instance, your ethical dilemma is that you are hungry, and you see that someone else has a hot pocket in the freezer. If you are considering eating it, you have a clear answer as to what you should do by going through these questions. If you even make it to question three without convincing yourself it is wrong, at that point you will be forced to think of that hungry student or coworker who will miss out on lunch because of your selfishness. 

In our society people do a lot of unethical things, and sometimes they are even rewarded for it. You can easily put yourself in a place in which you are complacent with making bad decisions and having poor ethics by ignoring these three questions. In the case of the hot pocket, many people would not think twice about taking it. They would respond to their hunger by eating that hot pocket. Some might look over their shoulder to make sure no one is watching, but many never even get to the point where they think about who is affected by their actions. 

Personal ethics are so important because they shape how other people feel about you and your reputation. You might get away with some unethical decisions here and there, but a person with poor ethics will be found out. People don’t trust people with poor ethics. They might reward those people with attention, but in the back of their heads, they know that that person would turn on them in a heartbeat if it benefitted their interests. That is not a good relationship. When you are an ethical leader, you can inspire your employees to do great things. Ethical leaders grow more sustainable companies because people actually want to work for them. There are so many benefits to maintaining good ethics. Next time you find yourself in an ethical dilemma, start using those three questions to guide you. Before you know it, it will become second nature.

-        Bria

    Ethics is certainly an important aspect to be considered when discussing leadership skills.  During this past week I have had several situations that surprised me because I found student records from previous schools which did not show that ethics were followed.  How could a student’s report cards show only “A” and “B” grades when the normed test and academic growth charts showed the student performing at the lowest percentiles for students of the same grade and age?  In my opinion, the parents were lied to and misled about the education their child received.

    I just received our Junior Scholastic 2021-2022 World and United States Atlas and Almanac in the mail.  Under the heading “8th graders proficient or better in math (2019) for all 50 states, the range of averages was: 21% in Alabama and New Mexico, to  47% in Massachusetts.  There were only five states with scores in the 40s.  The rest were in the 20s and 30s.   

    To me, these statistics scream for a search of the ethics being practiced in our educational systems.  New York spent the highest amount of dollars per student in public school funding with $25,139.  New Jersey was in second place with $20, 512.  (The student math proficiency for these two states listed 44% for New Jersey, and 34% for New York.)

    I have often questioned what has been happening in our nation’s schools.  I have served on the state textbook committee one time during my career.  I was overwhelmed at the incentives, the free gratuities, and the extraordinary luxury treatment given to committee members by the textbook representatives.  Yet, even with all the flattery, the states seem to have an unspoken pledge: as California and Texas choose textbooks, so go the rest of the states.  It was also quite evident that the different textbooks were almost matched copies in content and presentation.  Add to this, that I personally watched the dumbing down of content, especially in math at least three to four times during my public school career.  To me, this is unethical conduct on the part of our educational system.

    Many of our students have the mistaken idea that technology will do all the work for them.  It is a reminder of the popular song which rang out loudly, “I don’t need no education…”  How will these students function when the electrical sources are down?  How can messaging take place if their phone or watch or tablet is missing, and they are stranded somewhere looking for help?  My students just laugh and with a knowing toss of their heads reply, “Ha!  That’ll never happen!   It won’t last for very long!”

    This is just one aspect of ethics which I think about a lot.  It would take volumes to speak about the ethics of truthfulness in the execution of homework and compositions.  The virtual school time we spent during the quarantine showed us just how much of an ethical problem we have in our society.  It was shocking enough that we hope to never have to experience it again!

    Previously, I wrote a blog on this site which included a written list which was compiled by the Houston police department of ways to make sure your child turns out to be a juvenile delinquent.  It based the suggestions on research of commonalities among prisoners.  If you are interested, you might run a search for it.  Meanwhile, I do what I can to teach my students the importance of ethics as I make every effort to model it myself.  Then, I pray a lot for our students, our school, our country, and our world!  If you find your feelings on this subject are similar to mine, then join me in lifting those prayers! 

-        Kay

     Ethics are the body of principles or standards of  human conduct for an individual or a group. If something is ethical, it is seen by the majority of people as correct behavior. 

     There was a time when those standards were similar across the United States. That time is disappearing. Whether it’s due to the Internet or the teaching of tolerance, increasingly the body of what is seen as ethical is growing in size. Those who believe that all included is ethical, though, is not. As a society, we are becoming polarized regarding what is ethical.

     If teaching was tough before, this has made it nearly impossible! We teachers feel like we’re tiptoeing through a mine field each day, never knowing when the next angry parent will go off. And each angry parent thinks what he finds ethical should be the standard for all. No wonder so many public schools have stopped disciplining! 

     We have not, and it has cost us some business. We try not to mislead people; it’s part of our tour. We’re going to call out bad behavior. When a parent says our discipline caused embarrassment, we point out that the child was not embarrassed to misbehave. 

     When I taught our kids this leadership lesson this past Friday, I taught them a literature term: code hero. The code hero will not allow himself to do certain things or drop below certain standards. It’s his own code. We need more kids who say “no” to every whim that comes along. The most recent one I can think of was the Tik Tok challenge Deviouslicks, in which students record themselves stealing classroom and school bathroom items. One local school here lost a urinal, a mirror, a soap dispenser, and even a stall door. I remember another challenge that involved going into Wal-Mart and throwing a gallon milk against the egg display. These are mot just harmless pranks. This is morals severely messed up.

   I feel for parents nowadays. My students act very adversely to my disagreement with some of their morals. Parents have much more to worry about than I as far as maintaining the relationship with their children. Some hills you have to not die on.

   The good news is that “kindness” seems to be an ethical decision that perseveres. I see the acceptance of all beliefs as kindness. The kids still appreciate and understand kindness. Even when our politicians resort to name-calling and back-stabbing, our kids call it out and denounce it. I have seen more “choose kindness” shirts on my teens than ever in my teaching career. This gives me hope that the poem that says “Everything I Need to Know, I Learned in Kindergarten” is true: what ethics we’re taught a young age persevere!

-        Michelle

Teamwork Counts!

     When I first started attending college as an education major, the buzzword of the time was “cooperative learning.”  I embraced it and have never stopped using it.  It is my conviction that no one needs to be forced to work in teams more than gifted and talented kids.  Gifted people prefer to work alone.  This is not some grand sacrifice.  Rather, it is typically because many gifted feel that no one can do “the job” as well as they can.  To accept “sub-standard” help is not an option, so gifted often do it all alone.  This is not an admirable trait.  Cooperative learning in my room involves lots of scored discussions, the ability to disagree, and rewards for working together. 

     The idea of teamwork as a necessity is no new concept.  Getting the team to work together can feel like reinventing the wheel every time, though.  There are so many dynamics in any given group.  The key to good teamwork is leadership that places value on that teamwork. 

     At the time of writing this, I have just finished watching the Oklahoma University vs. Texas Christian University football game (2021).  The star quarter back, Spencer Rattler, having not discharged his duties effectively, has been replaced with true freshman Caleb Williams.  Caleb through passes that were caught and led the team to a great victory.  That wasn’t the only thing that changed, though.  The OU team its fans were used to was back, united under the leadership of this young quarterback.  I don’t know what that unity didn’t occur under Rattler’s leadership, but it didn’t.  While it was great to see a quarterback who could complete passes, it was greater yet to see the teamwork he inspired. 

    There is no doubt that good teamwork is the requirement for success.  How do we get our gifted teens to see the value of teamwork?  By making them work in teams, of course!  Can the family be a team?  You bet!  The family “team” gets to treat themselves to one extravagant purchase on our trip if we can find 35 of the 50 United States license tags.  Or, if we’ll all keep the house clean during the week, we will use Friday night for movie night since we won’t have as much to clean up.   The goal is to show that together we can accomplish much.  But, it’s also to show that other people have good ideas, too, and we should embrace all input.

                                                                                             Michelle

E. Stanley Jones noted, “the ways people try to get along with one another: Some try to dominate others; some are aloof from others; some are indifferent to others; some work with others; some work with and for others.”  It is the last way that is the best way, in my opinion.

    When Daniel Williard, the head of the Baltimore and Ohio Railroad, was asked what he saw was the outstanding qualification for a successful executive, he replied “The ability to put yourself in the other man’s place.”  In the pandemic age, we are finding that courtesy and kindness are seen as “unusual and exemplary” practices.  These manners were a mainstay in days gone by.

    Perhaps it is the isolation that the pandemic has brought about that has caused the personal worlds of people to “shrink” while the real world has become so much larger due to connections through technology.  We’ve witnessed the change in our students as they shout out in a classroom of about twenty others seeking only to have their personal needs met as soon as possible.  “Wait” has become a dirty word in many cases.  One of my teachers told me of a student who just this past week sought her attention on the playground and whispered to the teacher, “You didn’t call on me in class.”  When asked if she raised her hand, it wasn’t the matter at hand.  The teacher was just expected to always call upon her in class.  There is no thought given to the fact that if teachers made their chief priority to call on every student in every class every day, less teaching would be able to be done.

    We do call upon children and we do try to answer questions…but just to mark a list of students and check off their speaking time would require a lot of wasted effort.  I think our staff does a great job of letting students express their opinions, etc.  In fact, we make it a priority to converse with our students and to give them attention as it is needed.  However, as “Zoom” teaching showed us, the isolation with a screen in the room has developed an “I am on TV” personality among our students.  The show is “all about them.” 

    Luckily, Mr. Smith has really developed the sports programs in our school.  He has taught the children to be personally challenged, but also to work as a team.  Coaches in soccer and volleyball have also worked on team playing and team building.  This is unusual territory in a school for Gifted and Talented students.  These students know their abilities and they have the drive to accomplish great things…especially at the last minute.  What they are learning now through sports is that one person can’t act for the whole team.  

    The Bible has a great teaching about how the body parts have to work together for the whole to function properly.  It is kind of a law of “mutual aid,” according to E. Stanley Jones, a medical missionary to India before World War II.  A college president shared a story to illustrate this.  He and another boy were on a seesaw and were playing nicely until the idea struck him of jumping off when his end was down, letting the other boy down with a crash.  The other boy refused to play with him.  Finally, he persuaded him to play again, and then the other boy let him down in the same way, with the same crash.  Then neither one would trust the other, so the play ended permanently.  The one boy broke the law of friendship, and in the end lost the friendship of the other boy, and the game.  If the boy has thought about being in the other boy’s shoes in the first place, the whole situation might never have occurred.  Teamwork is a beautiful thing.    Kay

We often talk about important skills for students to develop on an individual basis, but one of the most valuable skills is being able to work well with others. There are very few jobs available that do not require some level of teamwork. Gifted people do not naturally like working in teams. We want to make sure the job is done right, and we believe that that can only happen if we do the job completely. It’s not comfortable to give up complete control, and it is difficult to trust other people to get the job done. This is a hard skill to learn ,and many students will fight us on the necessity of learning it.

We have groups for all ages in our school. We call these groups “packs.” In a pack, students compete in academic, athletic, and skill-based challenges. They work together on a quarterly basis to receive a prize for earning the most points. This is a really important part of our students’ education. It gives them a low stakes environment in which they can learn how to work with others. These packs range in ages, so students are working with older and younger kids, and they are learning how to interact in a group. 

Some kids do very well in the packs, and some are resistant to relying on others. Many students display leadership traits while working in these groups as well. However a student behaves in the group tells us as the teachers a lot about them. We notice the ones who are encouraging and who participate. We also see the ones who don’t put any effort in. We see the ones who only put in effort in the final hour before a deadline. All of these behaviors tell us something about the student. 

While the stakes are lower for working well in a team in elementary school, the stakes get higher as children enter middle and high school. During these years they might play team sports, act in a play, or participate in a group project. All of these activities require teamwork, and for the first time, there are stakes attached. Not working well with your volleyball team can cost you a win or a chance at advancing to regionals. Not working well with your cast can make a play a flop. Being a bad team player on a group project can result in a low grade. These are all consequences that could have been avoided if one had taken the time to learn to work with a team.

As teens move towards adulthood, being a bad team player could cost a job, promotion, or opportunity. It might keep one from even being hired in the first place, unless he is good at hiding it. People don’t like to hire those who don’t work well in a team. It’s not productive or efficient for the company, and if someone is blocking profit, he is replaceable. Don’t let this happen to you. It’s so easy to learn how to work together. If you are typically a loner, join a club or team. Failing to develop this skill means that you are falling behind. You don’t have to love working with a team; you just have to be able to do it. Once you start working well with a team, it gets easier, and the longer you work with a specific team, the more you can trust them to help you get the job done. More hands make less work. Embrace working with others and start developing this skill now.

                                                                        Bria

Vision Counts!

I talk a lot about goal setting in these leadership lessons. I think it is very important to keep sight of the big picture. It’s easy to get hyper focused on what you are doing and lose sight of what you want out of life. Goal setting is a good way to keep your eye on the prize, but if you don’t have a vision of what you want, how can you set productive goals? 

In business, companies generally have a mission statement that is publicly posted on their website. A smaller portion of companies also have a vision statement. The mission statement defines what companies do. It is intended to educate the public on the company's objectives and core values. It should be motivational and easy to relate to. It can also help employees remember why they are doing what they do. 

A vision statement on the other hand looks at where we want to be. The statement is primarily for employees and internal stakeholders. It showcases where the company would like to be in the future and highlights specific goals. It’s important for growing companies to have vision statements because it gives everyone in the company a collective, overarching goal to work towards. While a mission statement might say, “Lawton Academy provides differentiated education for gifted and talented students,” a vision statement might say, “Lawton Academy is changing the way in which we educate children. It strives to make a difference in the world and provide the best education to children across the country.” 

The above is not our official vision statement. But it could be. We are focused on providing the children we have in our school with the best possible education. Furthermore, we all have goals to change the way in which children are educated. So, our day-to-day consists of meeting and achieving our mission, but we see this practice as also working towards something bigger. While we are not actively pursuing franchising or other growth options, it’s always in the back of our heads that we are working towards something bigger, and we make decisions that are correct for the moment but could also positively impact that vision. Without that vision, we would still meet our vision, but we wouldn’t have any long-term goals to work on. 

Another thing vision can do is give you a reason to go on when things get tough. This is an incredibly hard time to be in education. With the ongoing pandemic, it feels like the rules are constantly changing, everyone is in danger, and we are always in trouble with someone. Teaching is a hard job aside from the fact that we now have the pressure and responsibility to keep kids safe while not making the parents so upset that they leave. It is very hard to navigate this school year (and the previous year and half before it). 

Many educators across the nation are giving up and making a career change. New research states that 1 in 4 educators are seriously considering not returning to their job next year. That is significant and very scary. But I also can’t blame them. Without the vision we have to hold on to, I might have considered the same thing. This is a big reason that students should have vision as well. From their vantage point, they have been working hard all throughout their schooling, and they are being rewarded with losing all of their fun activities (sports, trips, dances) to COVID. Additionally, they have been told their life that they need good test scores to make it into college, and now colleges don’t even look at test scores for admission. If adults are struggling so much with this concept, think about how hard it is for a child to stay motivated.

We are in desperate times, it seemingly gets better, and then we are right back in the trenches with this virus. If you are a parent reading this, think about the range of emotions you have felt over the past two (almost three) years. Now imagine that you are a child and the parts of your brain that are intended to process that information are not yet fully developed. Even if your child is not showing outward signs of struggling with the pandemic, there are things that they are processing consciously and subconsciously. Help give them some hope in this trying time and work out a vision that they can cling to when times are hard. For little ones, vision boards with pictures are easy ways to help visualize the future. For older students, discuss with them what they would like in their future. Once you have that conversation, you are better equipped to help them keep their eye on the prize. We have a week-long break coming up; use that time to get refocused and to understand your vision.

-        Bria

Vision counts!  Successful people usually can recall the year, day, or even the hour when they first grasped their “vision” of what was important to them for their life accomplishment.

Looking at the stories of many such people, we find that most all caught a “vision” that was connected to talents and abilities they already possessed.

This is not surprising since our talents are often the activities of our lives we truly enjoy doing.  They may even be our place of retreat when things get tough!  Because we enjoy using these talents, our brain is experiencing pleasant chemical reactions and it is easier to let creative thoughts flow. We begin to ask, “What if?”  That’s the doorway to new inventions, adventures, and visions!

The reality is that time has become so crowded with tasks, that people often don’t relax to dream dreams of what could be.  So, my first advice to anyone is to find a “comfort zone” where you can lose yourself - oblivious to time and space. Then, allow yourself to think about reaching new heights, to discover new experiences, and then to form a “vision” of your goal.

Once a vision is set or embraced, you must constantly take an inventory of your progress towards that goal. Out of these “checks,” you set daily, weekly, monthly, or yearly goals aimed at your destination vision. 

It is our goal at Lawton Academy to help students through this process.  We are so pleased that many of our students have had such visions and have shared with us their progress toward those “visions.”

One of our best examples was a student who had his own business by 8th grade.  He also took a quote from Mr. Johnson’s class and turned it into a profitable business.  He clearly had “visions” and when one goal was fulfilled, he had a new vision. 

Truly successful people of our time seem to have a series of visions - going from one success to another - sort of like an archipelago of “visions.” I am amazed at how technology has enabled the speed to increase the accomplishments of many things I dreamed of as a child: moving sidewalks, driverless cars, 3D printing of body parts, and now, passengers being taken into space in commercial rocket ships.  So, I say to my students, “Dream big kids!”    Kay

   Parents research our school. Parents enroll their kids in our school. Parents pay the tuition.  But parents don’t get a good return on those efforts until students gain “vision.” 

   The failing student at LAAS gets a vision supplied for him by our staff. At first, it is a vision of his life without the fun parts of our school. This usually motivates a lazy kid to pull his grades up just enough to stay off restriction. This type of vision does not make the staff or the parents’ job easier. In fact, we have to spend more time figuring GPA’s, counseling, and having conferences. 

   When a student gains a vision of what he wants in life, though, then we become the vehicle by which to get it. That’s when our job becomes more rewarding. We get to run alongside that student, opening doors of opportunity and helping the student navigate how best to reach the vision.

   So, how do you help your teen gain a vision? It takes work. We at the school try to show them universities and cities that excite their imaginations about what could be. We discuss careers… and not just the usuals. We introduce them to jobs of which they’ve never heard.  

  As a parent, I would suggest making sure that driving through the university of the city you’re visiting on your vacation is included. Going to a sporting event or concert on the campus can spark a vision as well.  Making discussions of colleges a routine topic is also helpful. There are so many virtual tours of campuses now due to the pandemic. This could be something your family does before the family movie: watch one campus tour of a university in which there is interest.

   Of course, there are dangers with gaining a wrong vision. Do not allow your child to set a vision that is unattainable. Your child will NOT be a walk-on quarterback for his favorite college. If your child has a low ACT score or is not in top shape, he/she is not going to one of the military academies. Do what you can to let them know what it will take, and help them to reduce whether the goal is feasible or not. Jet fighter pilots have to be of a certain height and not colorblind. If you have a six-foot three daughter who’s colorblind, it’s okay to let her know this job is out. You are not discouraging your child’s dreams. You are helping her mold them.

   I guarantee you, parents, if you can help your child get a vision of his/her future, your days of arguing over whether or not homework is done are over. Your child will see the need and meet the standards to reach his/her goal. I’ve seen it time and again. Other parents say, “You’re lucky. You have an easy child.” No, this is s parent who helped the child establish a vision, and now that child is soaring toward it!

       Michelle 

Planning Counts!

  What is this planning of which you speak?  All joking aside, gifted and talented by nature do not do much planning.  We are procrastinators.  Why?  Because four times out of five we can pull it off!  The people around us don’t even know we’re winging it.  But, oh, that one time we fail because we didn’t plan ahead… it’s a fiasco.  And we have a horrible time admitting that the failure is ours.  It’s got to be due to someone else’s error.  Yep, they trusted us to come through!  That was their error.  Who knew we had gotten to #5 already?

   Planning is definitely a learned skill.  My teachers use Canvas by Instructure to put assignments and test dates on a calendar the students can access.  We put the dates there, but we cannot make the students check them.  It’s great to be able to show, though, that the information was always there; the student just had to access it.  Gone are the days when students can use excuses like I was out of the room when you announced the assignment, or My dog ate the sheet with the instructions.  Dogs don’t usually eat computers, and with today’s accounts, the student can always just look on his phone or borrow his mom’s computer.

   As an adult, I cannot imagine paying my bills without a budget or trying to organize a vacation at the last minute.  I got that way because there was a time when I didn’t budget, and I ran out of money with a lot of month left. And there was a time I tried to schedule a vacation that was booked up a solid year in advance. 

   To get our kids to begin planning, they are going to have to see a need. If we are in the wings, saving them every time they don’t plan ahead, will they ever see a need?  They don’t have to remember to bring everything to school if you will drop what you are doing and bring it to them.  They don’t have to worry about not studying for tests if you join them in thinking the teacher just doesn’t like them.  And they don’t ever have to launch if you’ll just let them live with you rent-free.  There it is!  The one we DON’T want to happen. 

   So how do we teach our kids to be planners?  Well, the first step might be to involve them in the planning.  I know several parents who let the kids plan the summer vacation.  They have to research the costs of hotels and gas to get there, what the itinerary will look like once there, and how much the family will need to save up to make this trip.  I have even seen parents make a competition of it, choosing the recommendation of the child who best prepared.

   Another way to teach planning is to have your child put his own dates on the family calendar.  This makes him responsible for getting you to take him to activities he wants to do, as opposed to you asking him to “c’mon” for the fortieth time while he continues to play his video games.  If he doesn’t look at the calendar and be proactive, he misses the event.  There’s no one to blame but himself.  (Now, of course, I’d say about fourth or fifth grade is the youngest I ‘d start this.)

   Even planning meals can help your child become a better planner.  The more positive experiences your child has with planned events, the more likely he will be to continue planning. I challenge you to examine how often you actually involve your children in planning.  Then sit down and make your own plan to involve him more!

-        Michelle

Is there anything in life more important than planning? I can’t think of anything. Furthermore, I would argue that anything you are thinking of has an element of planning involved. Whether your priority is your family, your career, your health, or your happiness, there is an amount of planning required to succeed in those areas. So, if planning is so important, why are so many people so bad at it?

People understand that planning is important. That is evident with the size and complexity of the planning tools market. On the physical product side, you have entire stores’ and brands’ dedicated planners, calendars, and to do lists. On the digital side, we have email services with calendar reminders and push notifications and apps created solely for reminding us of upcoming events and deadlines. Some might look at this and say it means we value planning. But I look at it as a marketer and notice that this industry thrives because we feel guilty about not being good at planning. It is the same reason why the weight loss industry is booming while the percentage of obesity continues to rise. We buy these products with the intention of making a change, but our human nature gets in the way. 

So how do we actually start planning ahead? Well, unfortunately, the answer is: it will take some planning. Like most things in life, planning takes practice. I know I’m starting to sound like a broken record with this “practice makes perfect” mentality, but mastering things requires establishing healthy habits. To create a habit, you must regularly practice that activity. 

I’m not trying to tell you that you just have to simply start planning effectively, but I am saying that you need to start planning. To get yourself in the mindset of a planner, take small steps to help you practice the activity. If you do not already, start by planning out your week of outfits. This seems like a simple task, but it is an activity that requires planning, and you will see benefits in your morning routine due to this practice. If you have already implemented small planning practices like meal prepping or picking out your outfits for the week, it’s time to start making a daily to-do list. This is something that has greatly impacted my productivity. When I am having trouble focusing, I can simply re-read my to-do list and pick the next item to tackle. When I don’t plan ahead and make a to-do list, I often jump around from activity to activity without fully completing several items.

The next piece of advice would be to figure out what works for you. Like other structured habits, there are many ways to accomplish the goal. Not all methods make sense for every individual person. This is where you will have to experiment with different methods and see what works best for you. For some people, reminders in their phones help them meet deadlines and stick to a schedule. Personally, I am an expert at ignoring reminders and push notifications. I receive dozens of messages, emails, and app notifications each day, so I am conditioned to not pay attention to them. Because of this, I am not a person who can rely on push notification reminders. You might have the opposite experience with these types of reminders, and this might be exactly the tool you’re looking for to help plan ahead and stick to a schedule. It’s all about finding out what works best for you. Some people live and die by a written planner or calendar. Others receive calendars as a gift each year and have never filled out anything beyond the holidays. 

Once you identify what method works best in your life, stick to it. If you get yourself into the habit of using a calendar regularly, or making to-do lists, or using a digital platform with reminders, you will become accustomed to that method, and you can maintain it better. The worst thing you can do for yourself when practicing planning is to use all of the methods at once. This will overwhelm your brain and cause you to ignore the reminders rather than utilize them. This week, take a look at what is ahead of you, write down 2-3 things you need to accomplish each day and get them done. Spend a little extra time preparing for that test or that big meeting. Try out a reminder app or a desktop calendar. Then tell me your week didn’t go smoother than normal. We have the power to have easier weeks; it just takes a little planning.

-        Bria